Masked Concious

2010-09-26T09:46:00.000-07:00

Well,i'm reviving this blog cos I don't know. I'm bored i guess. I'm down with a 39.5 fever. Like wow right. Haha. Anyway,I am missing a certain someone really much. I hope she calls me. I'm feeling soo jealous that she is going raya-ing with her bunch of cliques which include her ex and her admirer. Then there's this post on her blog which says that she till misses someone. My love life just sucks. Cos everytime i love someone,she will definitely have something that would make me feel so sad and/or jealous. Somebody she likes,she can't forget,she can't get over. There wil definitely be something. Well,my life has always been hard.Anyway,my camp is being such an ass. Cos i might be going to db. I can withstand db but not texting or talking to her,that i can't withstand. Anyway,she has this guy thats been loving her fr 2-3 years. Wow. That's a long time rite? Argh! I'm just in a stressful situation. Sometimes I feel like I wanna do all the crap that I had once.Drugs,alcohol,a playboy,getting into fights. But I love her.I love feyira. And she wouldn't want me to do all these kind of things cos she would do those things too and i seriously,wouldn't like that at all.

2010-09-09T06:42:00.000-07:00

Thank you for everything that you've done. Your changes, hurt me the most. I never felt something that is so hurtful ever in my life that I won't forget. I'm hoping to see the old you, or maybe I'll find someone who's like you. I don't know... Just be happy okay.. ^^

2010-08-28T07:28:00.000-07:00

Who are you? And its been quite some time you have been appearing in my dreams. Everytime,when I dreamt of you and i,I would feel strange. Just who is this girl? I just wanna meet you. I always forget you face but not the feeling. Who are you? My mind just can't stop trying to figure who the hell you are. I just wanna know who you are. Maybe its a premonition or maybe...its just a dream.Who knows? Nobody knows.

Cheeese~

2010-08-26T13:30:00.000-07:00

Beeee, you know what! I'm tired of these desperate guys who always flirts around with me. They thought that I'm a slut...................... :'(
That makes me wanna do something... And that is to tell the world whole that I'm yours. And then no one will dare to disturb me again. Kay ehhh hehehe muah! Love you ^^

2010-08-20T06:15:00.001-07:00

Wow! And I'm still pissed! What am I gonna do? I don't know.I'll just let you decide anyway.

2010-08-19T12:37:00.000-07:00

Hello, good morning dearest boyfriend huhahe, it's 0317 AM now and I'm still awake! Hehehe, I can't sleep! So pleaaaaase don't get mad at me. I will sleep when I feel sleepy okay. By the way, I'm sorry for being so .... I don't know on that day. Heh, I promise I won't do it again ok! I love you very the muchiezz! I know you love me the most, so.. shart-arp asshole ahaha :)

I love my BB so much because he taught me how to love the cats. Now thanks to my BB coz I'm not afraid of cats anymore and I can looooooooooooooooove the cats. Haha, your face also looks like cat. Change your name to Cat Meowday. I tahu I merepek tapi you lagi merepek! Kentot kentot ~.~
OMG BB! I TENGAH TENGOK VIDEO LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE, HAHA! I TAK TAHU APE YANG KELAKAR SANGAT SAMPAI I KETAWE HAHAHAHAHAHA! WTFWTFWTF FHUNUIHJIFISJNFKC GAY TERBANG KE LANGIT KETUJUH KAY BYE *WAVEWAVES KALLANG WAVESSSSS

2010-08-14T13:49:00.000-07:00

I hate it when I trust someone and that someone doesn't trusts me anymore.Fuck! You think I'm playing around behind your back? Suit yourself. And that extra motherfucker should just fuck off. Mind your fucking business! It truly hurts me to know that YOU out of all the people would think that I would do such a thing! But it pisses me MORE than I ever thought it would. If you wanna know,I stopped contacting with a number of girls because I wanna start being loyal to you,faithful as ever.That was 5 mths ago. All that effort,all that sacrifice and now you giving me this crap.Seriously,FUCK YOU! Its been a while Ive cried this much. Not tears of sadness,well,some of it is. But most of it are tears of anger.Feeling betrayed that I trusted you soo much and yet you dont trust me at all.Having doubts in me.What made you think that I would.....ARGH! Gosh if you were someone else you would be hearing my full vocabulary of hurt calls or curses! Like whatever alright.Think what you want.Do what you deem fit.

PS: I still love you,but,but,but FUCK YOU!

Muaaah!

2010-08-13T10:07:00.000-07:00

I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.
And, I am afraid that I might lose you again :'(

2010-08-04T05:10:00.000-07:00

Just got outta camp.Gotta go back at 11. Lame rite?! I know. But haish,this is ns. Anyway,been staying in for 3 days and BOY! does it feel soo long.But now that I am used to the regimental shit,time's kinda moving. Made a lot of friends. I wanna party this weekend but as usual,Kam is busy.Like fuck la,he is always busy nowadays. Doesn't even have time for his best bro.Well,maybe I'm not his best bro anymore. Texted feyira and asked her out. She and her unsure-ness.As well as the rest of the world.FUCK YOU! Not sure here and there.Have plans here and there.Like when NOBODY was with you all,I was the one no matter how busy I was,I would try my best to HELP you all. And now,you all treat me like crap.You all don't even reply my texts. Thanks a lot.I'm through with you all.I am done being pissed of and/or sad that you guys are treating me like this. So I just will find my own bunch of friends,forget these so called "friends" I have and possibly ignore ANYTHING from my "friends". If you guys were in my position too,I bet you all would have already disown each other. Pfft.Fuck friends. There's no use for them anyways. All they do is contact me when they have NO ONE else to go. Haha. I now see. Imma spare tyre to u all. So fuck friendship. Seriously,I am so freaking pissed. Go to hell!;AND see you guys in there.

There's another thing. I have settled what I wanted to do.My personal problems. But what should I do? I want her back but what should I say? I'm too ashamed to have caused her hurt.Too scared that she might not love me anymore.Too...Argh! Fuck! I don't know how to break the news to her. That I miss her dearly.Haish. I just want her back so dearly. I still hold to her pic at my wallet,seeing her everynight,missing her so dearly, I don't wanna repeat a mistake I did long long ago.Haish. Okae.I hope she still misses and loves me too.But it seems she has someone new in her life.Well,sort of.I don't wanna disturb her.I don't wanna bring back any unwanted memories of us and destroy the guy's chances of getting her.I know that sucks cos I have been there a COUPLE of times and I know.So I hope she will text me cos if she doesn't,that means she isn't thinking of me and I will just suffer in silence. Like I always do and always have suffered.

2010-07-29T13:09:00.000-07:00

These few days,I have been going to work and back,like a lifeless zombie.I don't know what to do,what I want to do or what I am doing.I seem to always fall slowly into a deep stare thinking and reminiscing of the past.I purposely take the long way to work so that I can switch my mp4 to max and just ponder,sitting quietly in the bus/train just going through a pile of hurt called memories.Just now when I was on my way home from work,I didn't know why but I felt like taking 72 back home.It was a longer journey home but there's this urge.So I boarded that bus.Sitting in the bus,musics on loud and my head leaning against the window,I fall alseep.When I woke up,I regretted taking that bus.The bus was in an area where somewhat most of my dreamy memories took place.It was at hougang.Yes.I looked at the interchange and suddenly my mind was like a tape recorder on replay.I saw US holding hands laughing while waiting for a bus.I was joking about this ITE guy.Then everything was on replay.I remembered when we were at sengkang interchange,there was this indian lady and she was on the phone.She walked past us and suddenly shouted "AMA!".I was holding my laughter as hard as I can.Then I just laughed like hell.You were pinching me trying not to laugh.Then I did a mimicry.You laughed too.I sent you to school after that.On the way to school,we couldn't stop laughing about that incident.Well,now I know why I suddenly felt like taking 72.Guess it was so that I remember those good old days that I want back so dearly.But in the process bringing back a familiar pain that I thought was long gone.Long forgotten.I don't know what I will do in the future and what it holds for me or us.But I hope that I will get my second chance.Anyway,from next week onwards,I'll be staying in at camp.Yeah.It sucks.I know.Get to go home only on weekends only.Can't celebrate Hari Raya or my birthday for that matter.

2010-07-27T06:28:00.000-07:00

Is it wrong or strange somehow that I still think of you all these time? Even though we are not an "us" anymore? I still take a look at your FB page quite often,looking and asking myself why fate won't allow "us" to happen? I missed you.I truly do.I missed those days when we ate the coffee shop together,missed kidding around with you,missed laughing and forgetting the world with you.Basically,I missed everything about you.But what am I suppose to do?You already have someone you love.As much as it kills me,I don't wanna be the third party,interfering cos I sure as hell don't wanna put you in a state of confusion.I don't wanna put you in a hard/difficult position.All I had with you are memories of how happy I was.Even my best bro agreed that I was the happiest with you.I can't forget you.And I don't think I want to.Hope there will be an "us" in the future,Mrs Mayday.

Love,Mr Mayday

2010-07-25T06:27:00.000-07:00

This week,I met with 2 of my exs(they were friends).They texted me and they said they wanted to catch up.We talked.Had luch and dinner.They talked of our past,the times we were in lust,in love.We laughed on the fun we had.Then they asked me,on all my exs,trying to look for a "type" that I go for.Haha.And that made me thinking.Yeah.I haven't dated a girl that bad.Not bad in the inside but the outside.Has a tattoo,piercings.That would be cool.Haha.Strange rite?All my exs are those goody-tooshooss.Haha.And they didn't work.So maybe with a bad girl it would.Who knows?So now my criteria for love is different.Haha. =D

2010-07-22T20:23:00.000-07:00

Its been a while since Ive updated my blog.Well,here's some updates of my life right now. I'm single. Yeah. Kinda sucks but it was a decision I made.I don't wanna get into relationships anymore unless that girl can make me feel like I did when I was with Ira which I doubt.I'm soo bored here.Took 2 days of mc.Haha.I'm still the same old same old eih.Went out with farhan to get his IC.Had a blast.Then went to bedok to get my MC only to find out that the poly has cloed. -.- So we went to CGH.Yesterday sure had a lot of eyecandy. And they were checkin us out.Haha.Woo.Farhan got his mp3 he wanted.He was happy for sure.And THANKS FARHAN for the spending.Hee.

Anyway,I am so angry...AT MY HAIR! WHY DO YOU TAKE SO LONG TO GROW?! _|_ -.- _|_ Hee!

2010-07-04T02:56:00.000-07:00

What's up with your post? You angry with me? Haha. Don't even get me started. You act as if just because I'm your bf that all my time in the world I have has to be spent with you. Not for family,not for friends but just you. Like hello. I was in camp.I have to spare time for my family too. Then what about my friends? They know me longer than you do me. You may be my gf,but that doesn't mean you own me. And I don't own you.So if you want to drink,GO AHEAD! If you want to smoke,BE MY GUEST! I don't care. You don't know what a guy is going through during ns. You girls don't Maybe you can say that i told you how bad is ns but no.Ns isn't bad at all.Its the family and loved ones we missed dearly.that's the torture.So i'm trying to pay back the time they didn't get with me while I was in ns and during weekends I couldn't meet them cos why?! Cos I was with you. If you think i"m selfish then think again,you the selfish one. Wanting to meet every weekend. But I gave in to your requests cos why I love you. But now,I overslept and you are making such a big hoo haa about it.I gave you my time with family,my time of rest,my time with friends. All that was sacrificed cos you wanted to meet me. Do you know how freaking tired I was every single time i met you yet I kept quiet and even was able to be my own self while being too tired.Ask anyguy and he'll say how tired a guy can be after camp. You can cry after reading this post. I'm a bad guy.this is me.Tick me off and this is what you get.I don't care if your my friend,my gf,my mom or even my grandma.I'll still screw you. So how? Regret being with me? Regret loving me? Regret meeting me? If you do,the the door's right there.If not then.hmm....guess you do love me.

2010-06-27T01:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday,kinda sucked a lot. Well,at least I got to drink. Was really worried about a certain someone. Worried anything might happen otw home. I was so pissed off at myself for not being able to force her to go home on time. Sucks. Ayim and Ain were fun.Played the DARE game.I soo love that game.Bahaha. Oh yeah. POP-ing next week. I'm just gonna keep this short.Lazy. This is just to make my blog look un-dead and for people who read my blog,if there still is.

2010-06-14T03:13:00.000-07:00

Sad

Angry

Frustrated

Hate

Confused

What is happenning to me? What is going on? What am I thinking?

I don't know what to do.I don't know what to say.I don't know what to think.

I guess it was just a jester's act.But why was it a jester's act? I'm terribly confused.

I want the world to silence itself so I can think straight.

I want to be on the moon,ALONE.

The silence,the solitude,the peace.

The pain isn't killing me but the confusion is sucking my blood dry.

Fuck.My.Life.

I'm guilt-tripping.

I'm like a ticking bomb,

set to explode anytime soon.

I took my final bow but why does it feel as if I haven't?

I need a ticket in my hand to get away from this all.

You have failed me.

Is it safe to say that I made a mistake?

I'm crossing my fingers hoping,

that I won't be falling fast.

My mind is now full of crosswords,

and i'm trying to figure the words.

Cigarettes won't hide the truth.

Drugs won't conceal what is wrong.

Booze can't mess my head,

cos its already messed up.

I'm not myself.

I'm not me.

I'm not what I want to be.

Guess I have to do this.

I'm sorry.

The world is just not my place.

2010-06-05T09:57:00.000-07:00

See that girl above?

Look at her smile.

Her smile surely can bright up my day anytime.

I love being around her.

I bring out the smile in people but she's the one that brings MY smile out.

My head is constantly in the clouds when I'm with her.

My heart is hers.

Sometimes,I still feel as if I'm dreaming.

A dream which I forever want to stay in.

She understands me.TRULY

No one can ever replace her or even TRY to be her.

She's every meaning of the word "DREAM".

Her voice,of an angel's.

Her eyes,mere beauty.

Her heart,pure poetry.

She's the reddest rose in the garden.

I love her for the smiles she bring,

for the love she shares,

I love you Amira.

You are my everything.

2010-06-02T09:17:00.000-07:00

I feel like I've betrayed you.

I'm sorry.

I don't know why but I just hate myself right now.

2010-05-24T02:34:00.001-07:00

My dearest lil sis ain,what's going on in your life?I may not be your blood brother but we grew up together.I treat and love you like my own sister.I don't know why you did what you did on fb but it really hurts me.You're now giving me the cold shoulder.Why?When your family was almost giving up on you,I was the one who convinced them that you are gonna change.I heard talks about you getting worse and not schooling anymore.Believe me,I was the most disappointed.Ibu and papa i bet was disappointed too.I'm really worried about you adek.You have become more wilder.The rest may not accept it but I do.That's just you.Everytime when I heard news about you,my heart would keep saying "No.That's bullshit!She's my little sister.People change.She'll change.I know so." Day by day you didn't.I love you adek.My love for you little sis will not change but my confidence for a change in you is deteriorating. I still remember years ago when you were only 5.You and me,we will be together walking everywhere.At genting,we took an amusement ride.You sat next to me.I was scared but you cried as the ride continued.I hugged you,coaxing you.I really wish that we were back then.When you,yan,hudah,me,shafie,wani,mama,papa,ibu were all together happy with smiles.I really missed you adek.Seriously,I do.I miss spending time with you.Being happy.

Being disappointed never helps.Being teary never helps.I'm trying my best to still have that glimpse of hope that you'll come back one day as the ain you were. Cute,happy with that cute smile you always have on your fat face.

I know she'll never read this since she doesn't have my blog link but somehow,I hope she does.

Forever your brother.
Rifaie ='(((((

2010-05-23T08:17:00.000-07:00

Pictures above.These pics were taken at different places and timings.The pic on the first was taken on the first day we met.The last is the most current pic taken.

.Notice that we are smiling in every single picture.

Notice that I am hugging her in every single picture.

Pictures indeed say a thousand words.

These pictures however don't say a thousand words.

They just show simple reasons why I love her very much.

They just show how much I love her.

This time,I won't type what I want to post.

I'll just let you people read these pictures' words.

2010-05-18T08:26:00.000-07:00

Today is one of the best days in my life yet with baby.Met baby at my void deck at about 2pm.We then took a bus to sengkang int.I saw bad there but she didn't see me.Haha.Saw one of her frens though.She still could regconise me even when I'm bald.Haha.Then mama called and said that she already reached causeway.I panicked cos I didn't wanted to make mama wait so we took a cab to causeway point.Reached and met mama.Went to eat at swensens.I ordered the sirloin steak.The pic showed that the steak covered 3/4 of the plate.When I got the steak,it didn't even filled half of the plate.Asshole! haha. Baby ordered something chicken something pasta. Haha.The way she cut the chicken,DAMN CUTE sia! She looked soo clumsy.One of the reasons why I am in love with her..She isn't afraid to show her real self. Mama ordered something fish.I don't know laa.Haha.Finished the food then came dessert.Mama and baby ate the gold rush while I ate sticky chewy chocolate.Sedap! Haha.So full already yet mama bought some chocolates for me and a mocha frappe from mcafe. Wow! haha.Then went to AP! ^^ Hee.Then talked,joked around,had fun and smoked and annoyed each other.Haha.

I really love my wife.I really really do.Nothing I can say will tell you people how much I really love her.Haha. Time for my medications.Oh yeah.Going back to camp first thing in the morning.Fuck! Ass! CIBAI! Haha !

2010-05-15T03:25:00.000-07:00

I miss my baby a lot.Like never this much.Today I did something I couldn't even imagine doing this early.Remember that there was this post where I wrote that I bought a black hairband.My ex badriah had one exactly like that too.So I bought it cos I really missed her.Today,I sat at the reservoir jetty silently and threw that band away.I felt a huge load of my shoulders.The pain felt as if it never existed.The agony,suffering...Poof.Gone.Why? Cos I have moved on with somebody whom I want to have a future with.I love my baby a lot.Thank you baby.I'm a lot stronger now.Thanks to you.I love you.Muacks.

2010-05-14T11:37:00.000-07:00

Back from my two weeks confinement.Met baby.The minute I saw her,I wanted to cry.I sat a distance away from her.Smoked some cigsto cool myself down.When the tears went away,i went closer.Saw her and hugged her.Acted cool but believe me.If it was just me and her,I would already have broken down.Walked around.Seriously,I was bored out of my wits.If it wasnt my baby and it was one of my exs,ask them what I would do,Id just walk off.But I didnt.Reason is that I miss her alot.I love her.When its time we part our ways,I was sad.Usually I would be sad but just now.I was devastated that I couldn't meet her for another week.Went in the bus and sat at the 2nd level at the most back seat.I cried.Call me a wimp.I know Im just a person with feelings.Typing this post constantly wiping my keyboard of tears trickling from my cheeks,eyes bloodshot red and realising that this love is unlike any other. Wanna know something? Just now,I wanted to count all of my exs.I took me quite some time but I managed to count them all,Then I remembered what every single one of them did to me.Hurt me,used me,lied to me,double timed me,then baby was on my mind.I just imagined what if......she suddenly called me and told me bad news.My heart seriously skipped a beat,I stopped breathing for a while,in devastation and awe.Then I knew how much I love her.Believe me when I tell all of you this.All of you have experienced love.Yes heartbreaks come often.But have you ever felt that you know he/she is gonna be your forever after? Would you give your life in exchange for hers/his? If I tell you that I know then thatll be a bunch of hippo crap.Future can't be predicted.But I know one thing.I AM SURE that I want to spend the rest of my life with her.I AM READY to give my life in exchange for hers.You may say its bullshit.But let me tell you this,if you say this is bullshit and Im just spouting nonsense,then you have never experienced true love.It WILL happen to you.Just the matter of when and where.

The worst shall come and I will still be holding your hand.

The storm will pour and I'll be keeping you warm.

It may be cloudy but I'll make sure its a sunny day.

You might fall but you'll fall on me.

To my dearest amira: ....

I'm speechless.

Simply because I love you just isn't enough.

2010-04-26T10:54:00.000-07:00

I just read your blog and all I had to say is this...

When you added me thru tagged,I was like

"Hey! This girl just might be as crazy as I am.Who knows"

When we chatted on msn after knowing each other,

You gave me advice on what to do as I had just broken up with my ex.

Advices that strangely enough,I took.

When I was sad,you would post these

sweet posts on your blog just to cheer me up.

Basically,I realised that you would do ANYTHING just to make me smile.

You were the one hand that was really reaching out for me as I was falling.

You were the sweet kind angel that talked to me when I was down.

You were my goofy partner that I would comfortably talk to and joke around with.

As time went by,I realised that I was shot by mama cupid's arrow.Yes.Not cupid but his mom.A stronger arrow.I declined to reveal my feelings towards you in fear of destroying the friendship we already have.

We met and I was at the mercy of the you,melting away just by being around you.And I still do.When we hugged,my heart pumped like no other.Pumping as if it was a motor.

When we kissed,the sweet bliss of just that one kiss made me feel as if I was in space.As if Im alone and only I have felt that feeling.A feeling I have never felt so strongly before.

Now we are together.

I want more.

I don't want us to be just together.

I want us to be forever.

Your love to me is unlike any other.

Thanks to you now,my world has colour.

I love..No..I've accepted you to be my forever

Nothing in this world has given me what you have and that is

YOU

I loved you alot

I'm loving you too much

I'll love you FOREVER

Nurul Amira,I love you.

ALWAYS.

2010-04-26T03:05:00.000-07:00

Today is the last day I have before I go to ns.Haha.Well.Im going to serve my national service as an armymen in tekong.I'm gonna be bald.I don't mind that.I hope my gf doesn't mind.I know that EVERYBODY will be laughing and touching my head. -_-" At least I'm making ppl laugh.My family are starting to be assholes.My mom is giving me the silent treatment.You know what?I'm going to ns and there you are giving me this kinda shit.FUCK YOU! Curse me all you want.I don't care.To make it more worse,my brother is being an ass cos I finally got to play the laptop.I mean like its my last day and he's making me seriously wanna give him the old one two straight to his face.My friends on the other hand were real fun.I went skating with my pals and I got to talk with my best bro kam.Well,I guess its just you and me bro.Always has been.Always will be.The one I'm really gonna miss is not my family,cos guess i'm too angry to lie and say that I will miss them.More likely I will miss my friends and my dearest baby the most.

Pray for me the best aite.

I love Nurul Amira very much.
She's the only girl right now that makes me truly happy.
Muah Muah Muah!

2010-04-24T23:33:00.001-07:00

Ill update this blog later cos rite now. I dont know what to type.

2010-04-20T05:47:00.001-07:00

Met baby today.Hee.Walked to the poly to get her an MC but due to UNFORTUNATE circumstances,we didn't.Otw there,we ate at mac.Had Hotcakes.Heh!Baby is one of the most disgusting eaters I have ever eaten with.Just like me.Well,that's one of the reasons why I love her so much.She isn't afraid to be herself.She was soo messy and cute eating the hot hashbrown. Well,after failing to acquire an MC,we went back to the reservoir.Hee.Anyway,we were sitting down and laughing and joking around when we saw a BANGLA sitting down at a pondok near us.Baby and I was kissing so I guess it turned him on.HAHA.Baby and me saw quite a number of time that he grabbed his crotch as if his dick was erected.Haha.So we decided to just continue and tease him.We kissed but added a lil SHAZAAM and I guess he couldn't take it anymore so he went a bit nearer.We stopped and he came and asked for a stick of cigarette.So I gave him one and I saw he was kinda peeking at baby's boobs. ^.^ Haha.then I gave him the look. The "Look away or I'll crack your head open" look.Hee. Then we sat down at a PONDOK and baby lied on my laps. She was playing around with my hair,AS USUAL. I looked at her and remembered that I am leaving this angel of mine for 3 weeks.Can she handle it? Then I kept quiet. I looked at her and I melted as if I first laid eyes on her.My heart started to pump like a motor. My blood was rushing in my veins. My eyes teared up cos I think of how lucky I am to get an angel who cares about me,who loves me and who really trusts me. What more can a guy ask for? Then I wanted to know why she loves me but she didn't want to answer. -_-" haha.So I told her why I loved her. I gave her 10 reasons. In my mind,there were literally more than 50 reasons why I loved her.but I told her the reasons that I feel that are the main points. When i told her,tears trickle down her cheeks as her head was at my lap. I smiled and soon,tears too trickled down my cheek. I guess my words truly touched her.I know that there were times when she wanted to cry but she held those tears back not wanting me to see her in tears. But I guess this time,It couldn't be held back.It was a mutual understanding that neither of us wanted to leave each other nor both of us were using each other.Both loved each other.

I love you baby! And make sure you tell me on friday.If not then I'll be cracking my head. =)

Now thanks to you my dear angel,I can't take off my shirt at home. ^_* \m/

2010-04-19T06:33:00.000-07:00

Finally I get to chat with my baby cos I didn't text her the whole day due to my really really low prepaid.When I'm all psyched up that I get to chat to her,she is in a bad mood.Haish.I was just about to joke around but I am sure that she's so angry.I don't know what to say to her in fears that she'll be more pissed of and at me too. I'm scared I guess. Haish.What am I to do? Everytime she's angry,I feel like I've transformed into this small kid hiding at the small corner of the room. =( =( =(

Cheer up okae baby? Please. =(

2010-04-18T12:36:00.000-07:00

Hey!What's up?I've been wondering.If I am such a useless child,why don't you(GOD) take me? That way,I'm gone so I can't be useless literally cos I'm dead. Haha. You talk to me about my toddler days a lot. In fact TOO GOD DAMN MUCH! Sometimes I think,am I a burden to you? I do the chores.Like HELLO! I am the only FUCKING person who does the chores.You wanna expect your FAVOURITE son to do it? Pfffft.. Yeah Right! You have a god damn better chance of pulling a chicken out of an elephant's ass.You wanna expect your PRECIOUS daughter to do the chores? Yeah.Like that'll happen.All you'll get are excuses why she can't do the homework and most of it will be "I just came back from school.you didn't go to school rite? You do it! " Just because I sit at home doesn't mean I am not tired you dumb ass! I do 95% of the chores being done at home. And don't give me the "I did it.You were away so you didn't see it" crap! Fuck I'm not that stupid.So who else have to cleans up the house? ME!! Fucking ME! Why?! Because I feel that even though the two brats of your children don't give a fuck towards the state of the house,I DO! I don't want you,DEAREST MOTHER living in a dumpster. I am fucking stressed out here! Like seriously,STOP NAGGING TO ME AND START DOING IT TO YOUR OTHER CHILDREN!But only when I'm not around cos if I am,then I will feel like an ass but if I'm not,I won't feel a god damn thing.Heartless?I should be! You can say that you have been thru more than what I have been thru but here's a DIFFERENT SITUATION!

I have 2 younger siblings who keep getting on my nerves.
One of them get to me almost immediately by irritating me and not giving me a chance to be nice since he's such an ass!
The other one is such a spoiled brat!AND DON'T DENY IT! So what if you scold her more than you do me nowadays?When I was her age,I get what she's getting too.So that means I am getting what you nagg at me now plus last time...So that makes me the most nagged at.

Ergh!I'm so pissed off rite now.When you were blabbering,I was soo angry that I bite my tongue and it bled.NOW MY TONGUE HURTS! Ass!Oh yeah.The reason I don't spend so much time at home is because.....

YOU,my dearest mother always stick to the laptop.
My younger brother always go down to his usual spots.
My younger sister always have her own things.
I always feel invisible when I'm at home so what's the point in me staying home?At least my friends and baby can see me.

Haish!Like FMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFML! Oh and GOD...You giving me and my family this tough life,I kinda feel that you are not giving me a test but rather just ignoring. ASS!

2010-04-17T10:02:00.000-07:00

I want you to be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I wake up.

2010-04-15T05:55:00.000-07:00

Today,nothing much happened.Went to haziq's.Ahyeen was there.Joked around.had fun.then Mawarita came home and we went out.We sat somehwere and planned on the upcoming outing.

Well.I'm going off to serve my country on the 27th this month.Dumb Country.So I wanna go out with my friends for one last time before I go away and start to get unavailable.Oh....2 people I really love...their bdae is cming up..Soo,Im thinking we should celebrate the bdae too.hee. =)

Anyway,LAMBAT NYE!hahah!

I love my popok! <3

2010-04-14T12:16:00.000-07:00

Today.I met my dearest baby.Wooo!She was smooookin as usual.Hee.Oh and I noticed that A LOT of guys kept looking at her.Wow!She's THAT hot.Nyahaha.Anyways,we ate at long johns.Baby was soo cute eating!We went window shopping.Hee.Baby was soo cute.Seriously,SHE IS THE CUTEST!Went to reservoir and took a lot of pics.Nyaha.Saw some damai sec shufflers.Hee.NOOB!Anyway,pics all in her phone.So pics will be at her blog i guess. =)

I like you I like you I like you
I adore you I adore you I adore you
I love you I love you I love you.
I MISS YOU!haha!like wtf?! just met!But...guess love works in different ways everytime.

2010-04-13T10:01:00.001-07:00

Thanks a lot for being the GREATEST dad a son could ever ask for.

Ass!

Oh and btw,I hate you,your new family and your life.Fuck you!

2010-04-12T10:30:00.000-07:00

Woke up to find my mum playing the lappy. -_-" She's not working.Well,showered and got ready cos I wanted to fetch my baby from school.It was like 11.30 when I left.Early?Nope!Her school is at woodlands man!I reached on time but acted as if I waited.Nyahaha.Fetched baby and she went home to change.I waited AGAIN downstairs but wasn't bored cos I was playing with baby's phone.Woohoo!Best!haha!Then we took a bus to somewhere where SHE ate kfc.I was just a mice nibbling here and there.Full ah.Hahah.Then we went to the library.Took some books and read some clever shit!haha.Then these 3 matreps were irritating the fuck in me.They were trying to get baby's attention but by like coughing here and doing some other stuffs.My hands were grabbing for my phone slowly cos I was thinking of contacting Juffrie.He lives just beside the library and I swear to god I feel like shoving my hard REEF slippers up one of their asses.Irritating MALAY assholes! -_-

Then bby and I went to a nearby(really2 far) playground and sat there.Haha.It rained.AGAIN!Then went home then blablabla.Yumyumyum.BangBangBangBang.BooBooBooBoo.Taa daa~Here i am. Haha!

I love you more than stars on a clear night sky.I love you more than all the oceans in the world.I love you more than the distance of the sun. I love you Nurul Amira.What you said,justmade me love you more.And I believe now,I love you the MOST.

Basically,I LOVE YOU THE MOST!

2010-04-10T21:40:00.000-07:00

Havent been blogging for awhile.My laptop's been owned by mom,sis and bro.So yeah.The most recent post was posted by my <3. I asked her to post something so my blog won't look dead like almost all of my fren's.I hope I get to meet baby later.I really missed her.Oh and Haziq asked me to accompany him to Tampines Mall to Uniqlo cos he wants to buy some jeans.Haha.Anyway,Life's basically on the flipside for me since I met Nurul Amira.Everything's been soo.... WHIMSICAL.Yeah.Thats the word.I feel so hyper,happy and loud eversince.Yeah.Thanks to her,I have a reason to wake up every morning.Thanks to her,I am back to my real original smiling self again.Thanks to her,I am me once again.Hee.
So smile and start seeing things sunny bright up. =) Like I am cos Boy! Life is sure sunny! =) =)

Oh yeah.I love my Baby so very much. Words just basically couldn't utter what is needed to say to describe how much I love you. =')

2010-04-10T10:23:00.000-07:00

2010-04-08T10:47:00.000-07:00

I feel so down.Baby's asleep.I don't wanna disturb her.I have no mood to blog.I'll let the pics to do the talking.

I hate today but I love Nurul Amira! =( (=

2010-04-07T12:16:00.000-07:00

I met my baby today.Baby was sick so I accompanied her to poly.Well.A lot happened there.There was a guy who was wearing just a tshirt and his boxers there.Haha.Maybe he sold all his pants.Haha.Well.Haha.I guessed I cheered her up.She told me she was scik.But when she felt my neck,i was even hotter yet I looked fine.Hha.Yeah.It was fun.Then off to our usual spot at admiralty park when something funny happened.Tu la bby.Taknak dgr ckp kan.Suroh ddk taknak.Haha.Degil.Haha.I'm too lazy to blog.haha.Sleepy.

Then boredom stroke us!Nyahaha

I really had fun baby.Haha.And tell that guy to fuck off la..Loser -_-" Hahaha.

Guys,hands off her!She's MINE FOREVER!

Girls,Back away cos,I am HER'S FOREVER!

Ps:You are my sunshine,my only sunshine!

2010-04-04T20:50:00.000-07:00

I need you

Why do I feel alone right in the middle of the crowd?

Why do I feel so cold right under the hot sun?

Your name is what I wanna shout out loud

Somehow I know your the one

This started when our eyes met, I couldn't resist
Your attraction,Your love,Your desire
No matter how much I persist
Your passion in your eyes was on fire

My heart seems to beat abnormally
For the sweet things you say
The mere sound of your voice
Brights up my darkest day

Chorus:
I need you
To love me unlike any other
I need you
To make me feel much better
I need you
To fuel my laughter
Cos without you
I would suffer

Everytime we met,I felt so lucky.
Sometimes,I would think I am dreaming.
Slapped,pinched and splatter some water.

I can't believe that I am with somebody THIS amazing.

She was innocent yet so magnificent
Going fast like a shirt on sale
Dashed thru people that was in the queue
Hey!I knew I couldnt fail

Oh how I crave to be frozen in time with you
So that we could spend time together.
Eternity for me would just only be enough.
As I want to be with you forever.

Chorus:
I need you
To love me unlike any other
I need you
To make me feel much better
I need you
To fuel my laughter
Cos without you
I would suffer

The minute you went home,I felt a bitter emptiness
The second you left,I dreaded for your smile
Now not being with you,I wanted to cry
Oh God!This could take a while.

I miss you
Missing you unlike any other
I like you
Cos You made me feel so much better
I love you
Only you trigger my laughter
Don't leave me
For,I would suffer

~

I wrote this for you my love.Cos you are in my mind now,in the past and will be in the future.I love you.

2010-04-04T17:33:00.000-07:00

I just woke up and I slept thru whole night without any fan on and I was wrapped in my 2 blankeys.Reason why?I think I am sick(yesterday).I know I'm sick(today).And And to make things worse,my baby is also sick.Haish.I think she got it from me.Well.I'm sorry.Sooo....Now I am alone at home,mom just got a job and it started today leaving me all alone.And I regret telling my baby that I feel sick.Now she's forcing me to eat panadol.Haiyaa.I will.Right after I fill my stomach with something.Even my mom knows how much I hate medication unless it was from tan teo something.The medication there was created to taste so sweet and so yummy.But the meds there are so freaking expensive.Haha.

What am I doing right now: Texting my dearest popok!Sitting down,cant move a muscle.4 kitties are on my lap.Haha.They sleeping.CUTE SIA!But my baby more cuter.Haish.Walao.My neighbour cooking.Smell so nice sia.I want.But too bad cos I hate you.Nyahaha.

Oh yeah.Yesterday when I sent my dearest baby home,otw back,I looked up the midnight sky and saw the stars shining bright.For every star I saw,I gave one reason why I love you.Wow.I ran out of stars.Seriously.Damn disappointing.Hee!

2010-04-04T09:42:00.000-07:00

Hello! I'm Dolphin's girlfriend! Gahahah! So yeah, he's sick and he told me to update for him. So, we both met at Tamp inter and then blablabla i'm too lazy to elaborate what happened lol! All i gotta say is, the both of us really had a great time yesterday! Lovesloves. That's all, i'm tired hahah x_x

Love me love me say that you'll love me hahaha! Beee, let's kill that fvcking spoilt brat...
Justin Bieber!

2010-04-02T11:26:00.000-07:00

I met my baby just now.Yeah.I was already ready when she texted me that she is getting ready.Waited for her at woodlands but she didn't show.Texted her and she was still at home,waiating for my text.Haha.Lerr.Then we met and she told me she wanted to windowshop.I told her that vivo is the best place that I KNOW of.But we decided to drop at somerset.I ate lemon chicken rice.It was 5.20.Damn Expensive and on top of that,the rice was so little.Not satisfying at all but the lemon chiken was.....Voille!Nice!Then we went to the skatepark and saw some skaters shredding the skatepark.I was bored so we decided to go back to woodlands and just chill at admiralty park.Hee.Sat down and joked around.Laughed a lot.She made me smile genuinely.Oh yeah.there was this couple who were kissing and they were smokin the whole park.They were kissing.Damn hot guy and gorgeous girl.They switched on a song on their phone and started kissing.OMG!It was like the 5th song and they were still smokin.Haha.We then went home.I reached at tampines inter.Took 65 but had to go back down cos my ezlink card was low.Haha.So I walked all the way home.Damn tired. Oh yeah!Happy 17th birthday farhan.Love ya bro!

I already miss my baby.Haish.Can;'t stop thinking of her.The way she clinged onto me in the mrt,I have never felt such love and trust in me.I love you popok! =) What I need to say,has been said.

PS:TOLD YA NOT TO BITE ME! =)

2010-03-31T10:00:00.000-07:00

I just came back from woodlands.Met popok there.

Today.I won't blog about what happened.

We met.You looked a bit different.But hey.I didn't mind.You were quite.For only half an hour,then you started to become hyper-active.My guess is that that's your nature.So yeah.I laughed with all the cute things you did.Then we sat down.I believe somewhere at that point that I was love-smitten.You gave me a small doll.We talked.I was happy for a while.When you took your bus and I took mine,I started to miss you.My mind was constantly thinking of you.The doll you gave me,I held it.Kept looking at it.Then all these questions popped in my head.I started to get worried cos there might not be an us.

Do we feel the same way about each other?Am I more than just a friend?

My head is just having the most biggest migraine EVER.

What am I to do?

Reblogged!

I got your answer and believe me,it was the sweetest thing I have ever gotten.
Baby has gone to sleep already and I am now with Mad and Bestie KAM.Hee.Hanging out.Planning about sat.Farhan's birthday party celebration.Those who wanna come,you can come along.We tonning.Haha.Text me.My weekend is full of plans.Meeting my loved POPOK on fri.Sheeshaing with my old cchy friends.Hee.Then proceeding to meet up with the guys to celebrate an's bdae.Wow.But I don't mind.FINALLY!I won't be sitting at home.Hee.

Goodnight~

Sweetdreams~

And a sweet kiss for my baby Popok!

I abcd you!

2010-03-30T06:23:00.000-07:00

I'm tired.So fucking tired.Can I pass out and sleep till next year?Seriously! Haish.My eyes are getting droopy.So goodnite!I know this is a short post but my fingers are tired too.

Sweetdreams beautiful.
Sleeptight gorgeous.

2010-03-29T12:56:00.000-07:00

My dearest popok.

She is one of the sweetest girl I have ever met.Everytime I'm down,she will try almost anything just to cheer me up.I love her because we always talk crap and laugh.She always manages to put a smile on my face and thus vice-versa.She is fun,caring,loving,sweet,HOT and oh so cute.Happy is what I feel when I am chatting with her.She is one of those sweet occurences in my life.I am happy to have met her for I would be really sad if I didn't.

I love my dearest Popok! <3

Guys out there treating her like what I know,please.Stop it.You do not know that she is suffering.Deep down.You don't see her sadness.Wanna know why?Thats because she's a strong girl.So stop treating her as if she's disposable.She's not.

Anyway,if you hurt her,I'll coax her.Nyaha.I get to coax a hot girl.

Hee!I'm kidding.

2010-03-27T14:39:00.000-07:00

When I think about you,

I sometimes feel sad that you are not with me cos I miss you so dearly.
I sometimes feel frustrated and confused at the mixed signals you sending to me.
I sometimes feel happy reminiscing in all those memories of us together having fun.
I sometimes tear up feeling cold cos you were my sun

My mood swings aren't really mood swings at all.They are just emotions triggered just by thinking about you.

In the day,I don't want to wake up cos I don't wanna start thinking about you.
In the night,I don't want to go to sleep cos I don't wanna stop thinking about you.

I'm like a lovebird,alone slowly dying.
Somehow I just can't stop crying.
Not out in the open but down deep inside.
I just can't baby,I'm sorry I tried.

Everywhere I go I see couples all around,
Sad,I just kept quiet,Didn't make a sound.
I was lost my dear,here without you.

Wait!I'm still lost and that the truth.

---------------

I wrote this when I was...Shit,I don't remember.Guess I'm still fucked up.Anyway,I finished it but I just put a small part for a message to be sent.Well.I gotta get my rest for now so Im gonna crash.
Its 9am.Heh.I'm still the same old same old.Just torn and fucked up inside.
Goodmorning....

Dear angels,
I hope I will wake up from this nightmare,
OR
Never to wake up again to this living nightmare.

Oh yeah.
Ps:Please don't ask me if I am okae or not. =(

2010-03-26T16:53:00.000-07:00

Basically,I've not been online cos I just got a virus and it prevents me from switching on my computer.So that means that means that I have to use my lappy which almost everybody wants to use so I have to wait and be patient.

I just came back from RP with farhan and mad.Mad wanted to meet a girl.Took 168 which took like almost an hour to reach to woodlands.Sat in the bus.Chitter chatter.Oh yeah.Otw there,we saw some construction workers on the back of a truck.One of the workers had a beard which kinda reminded me of osama BUT he was wearing shades so I was like telling mad and an,"Ko tengok,Osama,die disguise stakat pakai shades.Macamane die tak kene tangkap."Haha.Reached there and saw Mimi(the girl) with a bunch of her friends.Me and an were going like "KIMAK!Pecah!Kepok!Hantu!Setan!Ju-on!Shrek!Gremlin!Argh!"Haha.But we just followed them to RP.They bought us tickets for a concert but was short of one,so an and I were discussing who wants to go in.An didn't and I sure as hell didn't so we asked them to go ahead first.When we decided who goes then the person going will enter.They went ahead.

The minute they went in,we were like, "Okay!So we're BOTH not going in!An,yok gi mac!Aku lapar!"Zoom!We disappeared to mac.Haha.Bought takeaways and went back to RP.Ate there and saw some mats -_- doing tectonik with torch.One of them(fat) was a real pro so I was like awed for a while.Then the others did too.I was like come on!When you were starting to learn how to shuffle,me and the gang were already at marina shuffling our ass off.When you people were starting to be good at jumpstyle,we were learning to tectonik.LAMBAT ZAMAN!Haha.So mad and the rest went in at about 7.15pm and the concert ended at 9.30pm.We waited outside.But time flew real fast cos an and I,we had a lot of likings in common.It was 9.15pm when we went to the 7-11 and bought some drinks.Thirsty as hell.Then this uncle came up to us and asked what time is it,so i told him 9.15pm.Then he asked me all these question,"Are you waiting for a friend,are you a student here,what course are you in...An and I just entertained him.I told him I am a student in RP and then he asked me what course,then I remembered seeing something with the word "BIO" on it.So i just said the first word that popped outta my head."BIO-METRIC".Then he said "Huh?Bio medic? I was like "uhuh."Acting all cool and stuff.Then he asked an and he just said a bunch of balony.I told the uncle I had to go.The minute an and I turned.An said "Mak kau peh puki betol" while I said "Pukimak kau betol".HAHAHA.

Then the people attending the concert came out.Wow.Eyecandy.Chicks,but there were a lot of Mak Chicks too.Ewwww.Haha.Mad came up with that word.It is to describe girls who don't qualify as a chick(damn ugly).Haha.Then we went home.

Something happened at home which caused me to have a minor breakdown.I texted Popok and Jaja.Well.Popok cheered me up a bit with her showing that she really cared.Jaja tried her best by telling me this and that but those are what I tell people who are down.Sorry Jaja.Its hard to do what I preach.Well.Thanks for the effort though.Love you two lil siss!But no matter how much ANYBODY try,I still won't listen to you,I won't do what you say.I will just lie to you and say yeah,i'll be fine and all that MEOWSHIT.Why?Because I will only listen to my family or to the one I really love.I don't know why.Guess its just me.

I really wanted to text you.I really needed you to tell me what I should do or what I should not do.Cos I still love you.I still think about you.I still miss you.But I didn't cos I am confused.I am afraid of what you might say.I am afraid of your opinion.Well,fear must be present in order for love to.Haish.I hope you top up soon, =(

Oh yeah.I recently talked to my mom.I told her I wanted to get piercings.She said yes.YAY!BUT! I need to get a job fist.Haha.I need a job cos I want these piercings.Lips Idk which one.Hee.

Hee!

2010-03-25T10:07:00.000-07:00

I don't know why but i feel ignorance from you.Argh it hurts. ='( Why again? Why?! ='((

2010-03-23T19:00:00.000-07:00

Just woke up but I had to blog on what I had dreamt as it was a really weird dream and a bit spooky too.I dreamt that I had to fetch a blue mini cooper or a volkswagen beetle.I don't remember which.So yeah.Took a bus to a car company,signed something and they gave me a key.I knew that I didn't have any license so I was like telling him "you sure?".Then he told me everything was taken care of so I went in the car to drive back home.Well,when I was a kid,I used to own a lot of adults in the racing car game in the arcade so I basically knew how to drive and drift a car i think.Haha.And I did.Overtook a lot of cars and passed by a cop's car and they just pulled me over to ask me where I learned to drive like that.Haha.Phew.So I parked at a park somewhere,I can't remember.Then I took my lappy out and surfed the net.As usual,FB,MSN then blog.Fb was normal,MSN,Popok said hi but I didn't entertained cos I was busy checking my blog.Then I went to Adriah's blog,yawee.She posted about this indian guy whom I knew of somewhat and they went back together.I was devastated.Then I took my phone and just typed what I felt but with no intention of sending it to her.The funny thing is,the moment I pressed "Save Message",I was crashed into by a train.Scary.Immediately,I saw my soul coming out of my body.Well.Then I went home,to see my family crying which hurts me so much.Then my mom contacted Fey and Kam,my best buds.Kam picked up the call and thought it was a prank call.So he called my mom's number and realised it wasn't a prank.I was immediately at Kam's.He cried his eyes out.Going on a rampage,he locked himself in his room wrecking everything.Then it was fey's turn.He somehow got the msg that I was gone and he immediately froze and didn't accepted the fact.Same as kam,he locked himself and wrecked everything,even himself.I don't know what happened after that but kam and fey showed up at my doorstep with bloodshot eyes hugging and crying with my mom.I was sad but curious,like how other's reacted.^.^ Went to haziq's..He seemed to have found out.As usual,haziq cried his eyes out.Farhan played the cool guy but he still couldn't control his tears.Mad was sniveling real bad.Kinn heard it and immediately fell to a sitting position.Popok got a text from kam thru my phone and she cried.Fathia also.But she was like sad cos she wanted to meet me cos today is her birthday.Emy called coincidentally and found out.Well.Same reaction.Cried.Lastly,I went to Adriah's house.She looked like she got the msg.She was holding her phone.Reading something.My guess is the news of my departure.Check2 she fight with bobo la.. -.- Kimak.I was like PAISEH SIA even though I was a ghost.Haha.Serious.I was like banging my head thru the wall but my head just went thru.Then she got my msg.Her tears stopped.She just froze.Her phone fell from her grasp.I checked her phone to make sure that she was like this because of me.Haha.Yerp.Then she cried.Covered by her pillow,she shouted words.I only hear "egrhjkahsdouahelksg".Bodoh nye bantal!Aku tak dgr!HAHA.
I went back home.Kimak.I was walking to my house.Then I saw slippers and shoes.ALOT!.Then i said "Assalamualikum!Woi!Ade kenduri arwah ke?"Then I remembered,ouh yeah. I'm dead.Haha.A lot of people.Chinese SK,ITE bedok,a few exs -.- and my family members.Haha.Suddenly right,I saw my phone,I grabbed it and started to text of what I wanted to tell every body.Then it was Adriah.I texted her.The moment I wanted to press send.Suddenly nicotine urges.Haha.Then I woke up and smoke.Weee.

-The End!-

FAKE!The weird thing about this dream is,when I woke up,I took my phone and there it was.The text I wanted to send toAdriah was in my phone.Saved as drafts.Time details = 24-3-10 7.55am. 10 mins ago. O.O Seriously,I am a bit freaked out.Haha.I am the first of its kind.SLEEP TEXTER! HEE!

2010-03-23T11:23:00.000-07:00

Today is my dear lil Fathia's birthday so HAPPY BIRTHDAY FATTY! You are now legal.Haha.Can buy cigarettes already.Yay!

Today,I switched on my lappy and went to fb as usual.Then I saw Miss.M pic and post and I immediately just smiled.Everything from the last sentence onwards has been deleted.It took me half an hour to type.It was really long.But,i read it back and I think to myself that all those words,unnecessary.What I really felt was not important cause no matter how much I say,you reading this blog will just go like "awwwww" then you just switch it off and go to bed relaxed and wake up the next morning going on with what you do daily.If you are really curious of what I wrote,then you can just ask me.If I want to tell you I will,if not then too bad.I'll give you just one clue.Its about my beloved ex.It may be something good,something bad or even both.Hell.I am not revealing anythiing.Like I said,NO PURPOSE.

To you:Let me just ask you one simple question.Was your recent post about my previus post or linked in any way?

In tis world,we may seem distraught,scared and alone.But there are many people like us feeling the same way.To put it simply,we are NEVER alone. Peter Buscht

2010-03-21T11:31:00.000-07:00

I have never felt so normal these past 2 days.Since I have started to text my ex,you know,Miss Braces.I feel so light.But now that this feeling was shortly replaced with the feeling that I dearly want you back.I feel so lonely right now.When we were texting,I constantly look at my phone to see whether you have texted.Each word in your texts would bring me back a few months ago when I proudly called you mine.What we did.Especially when you replied saying you miss me singing to you,I miss that more.I wont and WILL NEVER sing those songs for anybody else but YOU.NOBODY will be able to replace you.They may look like you,talk like you,love me like you did but simply,they are just not you.I seriously now,just want YOU.Even if you came back with a defect,I will still love you like I did,am and ever will.When you called at that night,hearing your voice,tears just started to trickle down my cheeks.I may sound happy and hyper,but it was all just a ploy.I don't know why,but I have a habit of hiding what my emotions truly are.One of my friends saw tears and I just signalled him to shush.Gosh I really miss you.Only you can set me free of this caged hurt.I hope we meet soon.The minute we meet,I am gonna hold your hands no matter what not wanting to let go,hug you tightly like there's no tomorrow and and kissed you like all those yesterday's we were together.

Today,I met up with kinn and fey.They came to my house.I was sleeping and they came.haha.I showered while they wait.Yeah.My issues with kinn weren't actually issues.Just plain misunderstandings.So we went to tam.Hung out at there till 7pm.Haha.Talked a lot.Catched up on each other's life's and all that kinda stuffs.Went to montip to buy some hairband.haha.Then the person there kept looking at fey and kinn as if they were gonna steal.Pfttt.I was just observing her body movements.Damn obvious la HELLO!Dumb chinese crackhole!Then went to the jetty with only fey cos kinn had to go home to finish her homework.She always ah.haha.Then slacked at jetty from 8 till 9.30.Waited for mad but he was a no show so we left.Watched soccer.Man-u vs Liverpool.I don't wanna talk about that. =(

Oh and 1 more thing.I think I'm really going to the bisexual way.Seriously,Fey(my gay bestfren) and I,that saturday night,hot guys were everywhere and we were like melting.haha.I dont mind going bi.But I'm not sure if I am going bi or is it my imagination?And FYI,I am not going bi because the kids nowadays think its cool and trendy and all that shit.Its just that now,I don't think kissing a hot guy is disgusting but its not turning me on either.haha.Well.maybe in the future i'll be more sure.

And lastly,I just wanna scream but since you can't scream in a blog,I'll just type what I wanna scream in BIG letters.

*words deleted*

2010-03-20T12:49:00.000-07:00

Pics were taken when every body but farhan and haziq were not sober.Haha.Had fun.The 2 ppl that were the last mans standng were me and fey.Haha.Even farhan and haziq went to sleep.haha.We did all the crazy stuffs.Shouted like nobody's business.haha.We ran around and made haziq and farhan run along with us.Kam was shouting SOAP all the time.Idk why too.haha.Went to mac.Mad and kam was already like sober.Kam puked like the niagara falls.Haha.Made some chinese drunken frens at mac too.Was screened by cops.Haha.A lot happened.Im just to lazy and hungry to type.Haha.

I give you the straight facts,tyr to make you look at the brght side,try to help you.Then you give me that attitude.Walao.I was just trying to help.=( Nvm uh.Do wht you want.=( Just be happy. =(=(=(=(

2010-03-19T18:01:00.000-07:00

Just reached home.Freaking tired but I have to send my lil sis to the polyclinic.I know.I'm a loving brother and all.Hee.Anyway,right now,NO MATTER HOW TIRED I AM,I'm sooo happy! Last night,she called.Seriously,I missed that voice and to hear it after 2 fucking long months,I felt so light and happy.From bored and sad,I immediately became happy.We talked and I had probably a 100 flashbacks of us.What flashback?You wanna know?I am gonna tell you..NOT!Haha.I miss her so much. =) She's either sleeping rite now or she's siap-ing to go to malaysia.Hee.Have a safe trip babe.I really wanna meet with you soon.
Yeah.I know.Its been a while since my posts have been happy.Now it is.Thanks to her.Come to think of it,only she can make me truly smile. =)

With love,
~Mr Mayday~

Will update again when I wake up.Which is probably gonna be....tomorrow morning at 1am i think...

HANGOVER!

2010-03-18T12:44:00.000-07:00

Went to aljunied to meet Kiki.Yeah.She fetched me and she led me to the workplace.Met Fifi.She was skinny but oh so hot.Then met Baha.Damn he's cool and so handsome!The interview started and blablabla.End of interview.Baha and me went for a smoke.Hee.Then went home.Changed and slacked at jetty with the regulars.Then went home.I apologise if this update might sound boring because I have no mood to blog.I had but not now.It all went poof.Reason?

Switched on the com and saw your post on Fb.I really missed you.The minute I saw your post,my heart sank revealing how much I have truly deeply missed you.Then,as usual,my mind and heart gets confused.Questions are popping in my head as fast as the wind blows.

Do you still feel for me?
Do you miss me?
Were you thinking of me?
Are you trying to hide something from me?
Why can't you be frank?

These are just the tip of the iceberg.I have way more questions.Argh.The pressure is killing me.I don't think I can sleep...AGAIN!..
Oh yeah.Tomorrow,CHALET!Blablabla.Lazy to type.TON!

On rainy days,I feel no difference.Cos when you went,you took the sun with you.Everyday without you,I sulk in the rain.I shiver quietly desperately needing your hug.My heart felt as if it has just stop working.My legs,they won't start walking.So please,be a dear will ya?Can you please bring back the sun with you next time you come back?I don't need the sun actually.I just need you.

2010-03-18T01:19:00.001-07:00

The pic that tagged remove..AGAIN!

WTF!

TAGGED SUCK!

SERIOUSLY!

K im Bored!

Bye2!

2010-03-17T11:50:00.000-07:00

Day by day,I grow weaker,bit by bit.The pain has seeped through my veins.Dying in silence,I can't scream.I can't shout for help.My legs grow tired from walking for hope.My hands grow tired from prolonged grip of faith.I'm fighting a losing war.My will to survive is evaporating into dusts,blown away with the winds.Trust was thrown out of the window.The friction of this fall is crippling me.A last blow is all I can afford.One last bullet is all I have.

The artist in me wrote this.

Anyway,back to life.I'm going to a job interview tomorrow at aljunied.Thank you kiki for pulling those strings for me.Much appreciated.

I miss Nur Badriah bte Ayub.
Tagged deleted my photo due to something that offended someone i think or something else.Eff you!But I re-download the pic and its now my dp in TAGGED.
Pokpok not online.POKPOK!Where you?!
Going out with my friends on friday.Finally!
Fuck you FIONA!
Results of whether I get into Higher Nitec is coming.SCARY!
Stay strong and good luck haziq!
Watched COP OUT 3/4 only cos the computer suddenly jammed.FUCK!
Just now I imagined that I was kissing my guyfren.I wasn't turned on.But I wasn't disgusted.I felt nothing.COOL!HAHA!YAY!
Terrorists are stupid cos they blow themselves up,Aliens are confusing cos there are many images of them,Big Foot needs to shave AND I...............................need to eat.Hah!Mosh pit already forming.

2010-03-15T13:04:00.000-07:00

Today,damn tiring.Me and Farhan took a bus to pasir ris.Hah.Then from there we jogged there.Haha.Anyway.Had fun.Went home.God DAMN!My legs are lifeless.Hah.I know I am gonna wake up tomorrow with leg cramps.Hah.I was at home.Chatting with my dearest POK POK as usual.Mp4 volume maxed,cos my com's speaker was having a mind of its own.Well.I was happily chatting.Then suddenly,BAM.The song Your Guardian Angel came on then I started to think of her.That song has a certain meaning to me cos THAT was the song I sang for her.So there I was singing the song,sad and missing her.The song was over.I was kinda sad but not that sad.Then the song I'm Yours by The Script came on.I immediately plunged into a world of sadness.Surrounded by walls playing memories of her.Argh.I don't know.

2010-03-14T13:36:00.000-07:00

I feel so stressed up.I feel so cornered.I don't know what I need to do.I don't know what am I doing.I feel so useless.I feel so dead.I am jobless.I don't know if I am going to higher nitec.I constantly have disturbing dreams about her which makes me miss her more.I feel as if a whole truck is right above me and the only thing that is preventing it from crashing down on me is a stick.I don't have a life anymore.I wake up and go to sleep.Like I am waiting for death to come knocking on my door.The walls are collapsing on me.My friends,they don't know what I am going through therefore I can't possibly ask them for help.Who am I suppose to cry on?My family?I have to be strong for them.I have to keep up this act.I can't let ANYONE see that I am crumbling deep inside.My health isn't helping that much.I feel really sick.I don't know whether that I am really sick or is it just my mind and body giving up on me.What is happening to me?I don't know.But the happy smiling me is right now at the moment very very far away.

Dear god,

Help my family,and I promise that you can take me.I don't mind.Really.Please?

Anyway,POKPOK has really been helping me cos basically,she's the only one I am talking to.Literally the only one.Thank you so much POKPOK.Love you so much my baby POKPOK!*hugs*Happy our paths crossed. =)

My DEAREST POKPOK!

2010-03-13T12:26:00.000-08:00

Today,practically nothing much interesting happened.Its 4+am and Im still awake.I guess I can't sleep.Oh yeah.Pok is online so she's basically the cutie pie i'm chatting with right now cos the others i bet are snoring or humping somebody i don't know.Oh yeah.I'm going to the gym later.Fey's idea.I must go cos Fey really want me to go.Hah.

Oh and the guy in the pic.My all time fav wrestler.Woohoo!Forever a Jeff Hardy/Extreme Enigma fan.Ah huh!

2010-03-12T12:14:00.000-08:00

I don't know what to say.Maybe this pictures will know what I want to say.

2010-03-11T11:33:00.000-08:00

This year,2010,has been a totally whole new life for me.Since 2010 has started,I have been seeing more nights than day.I'll be up till 8am.Sleep through the whole day.Then waking up at nightfall.Heh.Guess I am a truly certified owl.But 2010 hasn't been well for me.Reason?I don't have her.Heartbreaks happen again and again.When they happen,I would almost immediately think of her,missing those times we spent together.Guess I haven't got over her.Well.I think I am gonna make this post a short one.I wanna lie on my bed and think thru what I have done in my life with every breath that was presented.

Goodnite my beautiful soul.
Goodnite my mysterious mind.
Goodnite my ever bleeding heart.

2010-03-10T11:37:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had a dream you wished you didn't have?Have you dreamt about the past which is long forgotten?Have you woken up,regretted what you didn't do in the past?

YES!

I just woke up.I woke up realising there were tears on my cheeks.Checked my pillow to find that its wet.I was confused of what I had dreamt earlier on.Then it struck me.Everything I dreamt,I remembered.Then I regretted remembering.It was everything I did with Miss Adriah Calista.All jumbled into one dream.All those happy days.The words she described me.The words I described her.Sweet texts sent to and fro.Missing each other every second.Jokes we told each other.Pranks we played on each other.Arguements we had.The sweet kisses sent and received.Comfortable hugs presented and accepted.The way we appreciate one another.The way we compliment us.Loud laughters anywhere we go.The time we enjoyed.

It was a dream filled with BOTH happiness and heartache.

Yes I thought I have moved on.I fell for in fact 2 girls.But,it seems I was wrong.Seems my mind and heart don't see eye to eye.

Earlier today,I went to montiq at tam.I bought the black coloured hairband.It has a deep meaning for me.I guess maybe it being on my wrist when I went to sleep triggered deep memories.I keep smelling it.Hoping to smell your perfume on it.Well.Who am I kidding. =(

2010-03-09T14:37:00.000-08:00

Just came back from jetty.Hung out with kam and mad.Its been a while since I've hung out with kam.I missed ya bro!Hah.Well.We talked about all kinds of stuffs.Updating each of us with what's been happening in our lives.Ouh yeah.Received fafa's text.Hah.Okae.Goodbye fafa.=).Anyway,the irony of life.I was texting Adriah telling her about something which doesn't concerns any of you people.Then fafa texted me.haha.Imagine that.Was happy to know that Adriah is doing well and that she's trying hard to concentrate.Go Adriah.Hee.Then fafa texted me.Hah.I didn't cared.Strange.Well,the human mind is a strange thing.Then I didn't wanted to bother Adriah cos she was studying.Hey!I'm not that selfish okay.Studying is my number one priority...FOR MY FRENS.Not me!Na uh!Hah.Then texted Pok!But she was busy with her sis.Understooded.So was hanging out when we saw a group of guys with bikes.Obviously stolen bikes.Hah.Experience helps in identifying.Then we went to 7-11 cos we were out of sticks.Saw those bunch of guys again.I won't want to elaborate on what they were doing cos...haha.Anyway..*Skips till its time to go home*,went home.Mom wasn't sleeping.I was like OH SHIT!.haha.Confirm she scold me.Haha.And she did.Nyeheh.Oh yeah.I was cleaning the kitchen with my music on max(earpiece) when I felt this cooling sensation.I didn't know what it was.I felt calmed.I looked out of the window and literally said "Hey friend,I missed you.And nice timing dude!Hee." It was raining.Yes.I love the rain.

I know you all might be wondering what the hell happened(Skipped part of my night).Haish.Lets just say I've disappointed my family and my frens.

Oh yeah.Going to Tampines stadium later.To accompany Haziq.Maybe.I'm not sure.Cos it wet and I don't know if its cancelled.haha.I'm not going to the stadium to accompany Haziq.I have ulterior motives.Ahyeen knows what I'm talking about.She just needs to remember what exactly.Matreps and minahs of Northlight.Good Luck.You'll be hating me anyways.haha.

I think I'll try changing to the DARK side.haha.Star wars much.Well.It seems the people that I want to be cared for,when I'm doing good things don't care for me at all.haha.So why try to be nice?They don't care.Might as well be bad.Cos doing bad things are way soo much fucking easier than good things.Nyaha.Well,I know I'll hurt A LOT of people and lose a lot of friends.Hey!Been there done that.Being lonely I mean.Haha.

Sorry to those who care for me. =)
And Luke,I AM YOUR FATHER!
HAHA!

2010-03-07T12:09:00.000-08:00

Today hasn't been a smooth day for me.Although nothing went wrong,nothing went my way.Haish.My mind is now clouded with thought of you.Dark clouds floating above my head on what you might be thinking of me,cos that day we met,let's just say our meet up was fun.Yes it was fun but to a point when we met our friend,my heart was shattered.Heh.I seriously couldn't reach home without shedding a tear.Well.What matters is that you had fun and we left without guilt in you that you have made me sad.I have fallen for you.I have tried in many ways possible to convince you that I am right in front of you and that maybe you should give me a chance but it seems it isn't enough.Well.I miss you.I wanted to text you but I somehow knew your prepaid was already low.Haish.

This weird but similar feeling is making me unable to sleep.

I need to wake up earlier than usual tomorrow cos I'm going for a swim with Farhan and Mad at Tampines.They wanted to go at some other further places but I didn't.Ouh yeah.Emy might be joining us.Haha.

The good thing about being underwater is,no one can hear your screams and see your tears of sorrows.

2010-03-06T13:50:00.000-08:00

OMG!I gave into temptation.Argh!I'm sorry to those that I promised I would stop. =( Ah shit!.But still,ARGH!Fuck fcuk fkuc!Why must it appear in front of me when my self esteem is at its lowest point?!I bet when I wake up later,I am so gonna have a ginormous.....

HANGOVER!!

2010-03-05T11:08:00.000-08:00

Wow!This is gonna be a long post cos A LOT of thing happened.

Mad and farhan went to my house while I changed as we went to clarke quay.
Went to have our breakfast/lunch at Macs.Haha.It was around 1.15pm so school was over and the girls were all over the place.Hah.We did what came naturally to us.INSULT EVERY MOTHERFUCKING LIFESPIRIT BAG PERSON.Haha.No mercy.Even sec one and twos were laughed at.Ouh yeah.A bunch of girls checked ALL of us out.Haha.Well.We are out of your league girls.Haha.Kidding.
Took the mrt.Haha.The ride there felt so freaking long man.Farhan suddenly showed me that his phone had the song "Party in the USA".Haha.My mp4 had it too.Don't ask why.I'd rather miley cyrus than mr justin bieber.So on the count of 3,we played our song in syc.Hah.Then we danced to the song.Everybody was looking at us.But pfft.Like we cared.Hah.We put our hands up.We moved our hips.Haha.Then we reached clarke quay.

We saw the entrance to the place.It was literally beside burger king.Anyways,I asked them whether they wanna smoke first before entering thinking that once we go in,it might be awhile before we can go out again.So yeah.Smoking session started.And it ended.We went into the entrance.Had to call the person to open the door for us.Haha.The door was locked.Need a staff thingy to enter.We went up to the 12th floor.Went into the room.A lot of people (less than 10) was there,sitting and waiting,occupying ALL the bloody seats.So after we wrote our particulars at the forms given,we went down and windowshopped.

Okae.We didn't windowshopped at all.Haha.We went outside for a smoke.K shhh.I know.Then took some pics.Then saw a 2 girls then blablablabla.Dont want to talk about that.Haha.Shhh.Then went back up to the room.Haha.Was still filled.Suddenly,I turned around.Saw mad was already at the end of the corridor.In my head,my mind was like "Alamak dekni!Ade2 jek taw!Aku nak join!".So I did.Followed by farhan.Mad saw a fire lobby escape.So we went up.Changed our minds when we reached the roof and realised that the roof didn't looked like a place where we were supposed to be at.Haha.

So we kid around at the corridor.Made jokes and stuffs.Haha.When I was about to check with the girl at the counter how long was our turn gonna be,my phone rang.The girl that was RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME,called me.But she didn't see me.Haha.I was like "Hey hi!I am right in front of you!See me waving!".She laughed.Our turn was up next.Oh yeah!This girl was so freaking hot.She's chinese as usual.haha.Psssssst!

Pukimak penat pe type!

The three of us went together.This china girl interviewed us.Was quite interesting actually.But sadly,we had to pay....I'll just skip that part cos I am so disappointed. =( Anyway,the girl who was interviewing us..Ouh my dee ai see kae..She kept saying mad was cute.OVER AND FUCKING OVER AND AGAIN.Haha.In my mind I was going like "Okae.You can take him home.IF you lets us join without paying.Haha." And and she somehow does not like to swallow her saliva.When she was talking to us,the three of us could see her saliva in her mouth.Eeeyuck!

So we went home via mrt AGAIN but this time sad. =(
Anyway,was in the mrt when this malay guy,he was sitting at the designated seats for the old,pregnant and injured.He was playing a psp.And in front of him,there was this old chinese male and female.OMG!He kept quiet.As if he didn't bring his brain out of his ass just now.Anyways,a not so old auntie gave up her seat for the poor old ah ma.And the kid still didn't move.-_-Oh.The kid was at least 18 years dumb. Anyway,i was pissed so I shouted out loud these few sentences I think.

"Eh BODOH!Tak tawu diri pe?Kasi orang tue ddk ah sia"
He kept quiet.
"Kimak!Prangai sial sia!Ah ni la one of the reasons aku tak minat sgt ngan org melayu.Prangai mcm puki ia.Mintak kene rembat sia!Babi peh melayu!

Then farhan tapped on his shoulder and asked him to stand.He did.Like wtf.Ouh.Just because he has muscles and I don't.Fuck you.I bet I can win against you in a round in less than 5 mins.Punk ass malay.
Went home.Play half life at sk with farhan and mad till 7.30pm(we started playing at 6.30pm)

Then we went home.Did what was neccessary.Then went down for a jog at the reservoir.We met at my block at 9pm.Haziq joined us.We jogged and jogged.As usual,Im always at the back.Mad in fron of me.Followed by Haziq then Farhan.Haha.Then my hands started to be tired as i am posting on what has happened today.Nyahaha..Anyway..These are some of the pics we took at clarke quay.Ouh and the edits are all done by me cos I was SOO GOOD DAMN BORED! HAHA.

To my dearest Nur Fateha binte A...

I miss you.I think I am in love with you.I know I need you.

Anyway,I have this one thing that makes me think of you.You remembered you bite me when you found out that I...Haha..Yeah.Its now blue black.Haha.But only one. =(

Hurhur.Good nite Cintaah <3

2010-03-04T18:42:00.000-08:00

Yesterday,went to meet Fafa.HEEEE!Can't go into details but after that,met ahyeen.Walao eh!Damn hot man!The weather I mean.Was sweating quite actually.Well..Then a lot of things happen that I DON'T want to blog cos.... Well... Hah!Still not gonna blog about it.Anyway,reached home at about 8pm.Otf with ahyeen and I'm sorry AhyeenSykes and HaziqScreams that I wasn't my usual self otf.Not the usual chatterbox and hyperactive happy self.Heh.They know why.Hah.Anyway,sometime last night,the modelling agency that approached me,mad and farhan called me.They asked me to go for an interview.Fuyoooh!heh.Ouh and it's a clarke quay.So gonna be going to clarke quay later.Crap!I don't know what to wear. -.-"
Ouh.I love you Cinta! ^.^

2010-03-03T10:41:00.000-08:00

Its 2.30am.I just woke up.Arh!I wanted to wake up at 10am.Why so early i wake up sia?Haish.And somemore Fafa texted me.Like fuck sia.Why always she text me I sleep la,no prepaid laa? Erh!Dumb me!Oh Oh.Waking up this early made me realise something, I am HUNGRY! Got Alesana concert in my stomach.With a lot of moshing action. -.^

These past few days,all I do when I go online is go to youtube.com and watch my all time favourite series "Kenan and Kel".Still cracks me up.Never fail to set my mood up.Awwww...Here it goes!

2010-03-02T09:46:00.000-08:00

Nyahaha...I miss her.I miss her very very much.Truly very much.Heh.I just can't stop but to think at Mr Oreo's chalet.What we did.Heh.What we talked about.And I soo love the part where you started to bite me cos I won in a debate with you.Hah.And and... I elle ouh vee eee you.

This was taken when I was bored and decided to go to the reservoir.Heh.The feeling of the morning sun and the breeze was just breath taking.With my ear piece on full blast,I sat down there.Then I suddenly could start thinking properly.Everything I could see clearly.The clean air helped I guess.But only one thing still bothers me.I don't know what's going on in your head.Usually I do with other people.But not you.I guess that is what pulls my attention to you.

2010-03-02T02:19:00.000-08:00

Today is just not the right day for me..Well..I'm just lost for words.My mind just not thinking right.I feel that people just don't appreciate me for what I am.But what am I to do?What CAN I do?Sometimes,I really wish I could talk to god face to face.So we can really talk.He's god so basically he knows EVERYTHING I am doing,feeling and going thru.It will be like I am talking to myself,just that my other self speaks back.

Just met my uncle.Damn.I really miss him.Since he moved out,I have no one to talk to.He's one of the people that I can comfortably talk to without fear of any kind.We talked and hung out.Had fun.I miss you so much Suf!

I don't know why you replied my text the way that you did.It hurts me soo much.Now I am so freaking confused.My heart was pounding like a motorboat when I read your text.We can't text.We can't communicate.And when I wanna meet you,you tell me that.Like what are you trying to tell me?Just tell me already.I hate guessing games.Haish.I am so down right now but still,I can't hide the fact that I miss you. ='(

2010-03-01T09:51:00.000-08:00

Currently texting Irarey POK!..Haha...Well..We both bored so we entertaining each other.haha.by saying a lot of crap..Nyaha..She's kinda cute anyways..Haha..Guys,be freaking jealous cos I have a lot of hot friends.Haha..Dont even get me started with the list.haha.Well.Im quite bored now cos Miss POK is watching her THAI show.Dont ask me.I am as clueless as you.Wait.Maybe she watching iron ladies.Or maybe beautiful boxer.Or maybe Ong bak.haha..Beats me.She also got blog about me at her post.haha.Links rite there..haha.Check it out!

To my dearest Love:I miss you so much.Today.The one in my head was you.Every single sec.Well..Not when I was doing my smelly business in the bathroom...ARGH! you get my point.Love ya! Sweetdreams my lil angel.Muacks.

REBLOGGED

I love you! HEH! Goodnight wonderful creatures and good morning beautiful earthlings

2010-02-28T11:25:00.000-08:00

Days have gone wasted on me not doing anything at all.Well,anything useful that is.What the heck am I doing?I don't know either.Heh.Well.Just done sending my application to ITE for higher nitec in mechanical engineering.I seriously am praying hard to get in.Cos I really don't wanna serve ns that early.I want to,but I wanna complete my ITE first.After that then I will enter willingly.Heh.So i really hope I'm not gonna be bald THAT soon. =)

I don't know what to tell you.I know that you are not holding your phone.Argh!I seriously don't know what to think.All I know is that I miss you dearly and I love you. =S

Oh yeah.Ahyeen and haziq had a fight.Haiyaa.Ahyeen got crazy fetish..Anyway,she said I help a bit only..Walaoeh.K la I help "a bit" only la.Hahaha...Somethings are best untold. =)

2010-02-27T11:31:00.000-08:00

Went down and hung out with Haziq,Farhan and Mad..Was chilling when haziq realised his wallet was missing.Damn!Searched High and Low.Didn't find it.Damn!Too bad for haziq..Sent him home.Then we sat at his void deck and found a cardboard box.So here's what we did cos we were fucking bored!

Got a text from ahyeen. =(

But its okae.I really miss her. =(

When can we meet again?

I wanna hug and kiss you! =(

Ouh and BITE you! =P =(

Sometimes I wanna scream..Cos it seems people don't care.But when I shout,people still don't notice me. =(

I need you baby! ='(

2010-02-26T13:31:00.001-08:00

Every 5 mins,I check my phone to see if you have texted.And every single time I am disappointed.What are you trying to tell me?Why are you doing this to me?I know you are tired and always busy but can't you just spare 5 mins to reply my text.Haish.I really miss you.But I will keep missing you more unless you text me.You know how it hurts to be really missing someone dearly?Haish.Guess I am falling again.Just hoping you would catch me baby..

2010-02-25T07:24:00.000-08:00

Heh.I didn't care that you didn't texted me.Actually I did but you had strong reasons and and your one text is enough to make me feel really happy.Hee.I miss you BABY!Haha.Oh yeah.I love you too. ;)

2010-02-25T01:56:00.000-08:00

It hurts..It really does..That I am here waiting but..Haha..Well..Oh yeah..There was a fight I miss.Damn.hha.Babi nye zam.Fuck you!haha.Laen kali picet arh bodoh!haha.

2010-02-23T20:34:00.000-08:00

Gosh I feel really sick.My head is burning up.My body feels weak,and suddenly I have no mood to do anything.So to all the ppl that was waiting for me to be online cos you wanna get crazy with me,my apologies.Oh yeah.Went to my sister's school.Nothing much happened.Boring sia.Then went to t1 to check some stuffs out.Still bored..So went home.Nothing happened much.My daywas so a boring one.The only thing that made me smile was when SHE called.We chatted on the phone.Yeah.I really missed her.Then we texted and all...Haha...Well...I don't think this post is gonna be a long one.My head really feels as if the whole world is shaking.And I feel like vommiting.Haish..

And Happy 2 months to my dear Ahyeen Sykes and Haziq Screams.Haha..

I am soo gonna miss you my dear feyfeypop!I swear to god I am gonna miss you like fuck! ='(

2010-02-22T12:18:00.001-08:00

I am trying my best to forget you cos you made it quite simple for you to forget me.Anyways,those promises,I don't wanna think they are lies so I'll just close one eye and imagine that those promises were never made.That'll not make you a liar in my eyes,but just a friend.Anyways,Someone called me today.She wanted to talk to me.Boy oh boy was I happy.Thanks a million ahyeen.Heh.Before the call I swear I felt like shit thanks to ...But right after the call,I suddenly feel like popeye just finishing my spinach.I can't wait to meet you and hug you again.YES I have been missing you.Maybe even more than you think.HEH.Thanks to your voice,I got my sleep once again.My sickness mysteriously disappeared.Maybe all these stuffs was just me and my head.Haa.But who cares?I don't.Nyahaha.Now I miss her voice once again.

Oh yeah.Going to my graduation thingy later.I want to go.I will go.I miss my friends.Anyways,we going to eat together like old times after the graduation thingy.The ONE thing I HATE is that I have to be in work smart attire.WTF?!Hahaha.Don't they know me yet?I bet my teachers can answer for me that I am not a Smart attired person.I am messy.And I like it.But,if I don't go to the graduation thingy,I won't be able to meet my beloved friends that I miss ESPECIALLY Kai Jing(Smoking Partner) Wahab(The Crazy Partner) Kiat(My Chinese Brother) Jing Yu(My loved WEIRD friend).The rest not so much but still missed.So haish.This is the one and only day you guys and gals will be able to see the smart me.Haha.If you are not able to catch a glimpse of me,then too bad.Haha.

I MISS YOU(Not my school friends or my ex) =)

Time:7.04am.

I'm watching the original power rangers back then when I was a kid.I feel like a kid again watching them on youtube.Hahah.Yeah.Go Go Power Rangers!

2010-02-21T10:36:00.000-08:00

I am feeling so sad rite now.Darn.And to make things worst,I'm sick.I am sad for the fact that there will not be an "us" in the future.Not even a slim chance.The minute I read your reply to me at your tagboard,my heart sank to a whole new level.I just kept quiet,could'nt utter my screams for help.I didn't know what to say.My heart is aching.Memories of you and me smiling are STILL in my head.The first time we met,was actually a last minute plan.At that day,you started to make this certain guy happy.Seriously,I swore I felt so magical.My world was filled with colours again,the air was fragrant once again,the sky was clear and I felt alive.Now that I know I will never get to have those feelings again,I can't help but fall down again.I really miss you.I want that time back.I want you back.If god were to give me a text rite now saying that I have to exchange my life for just a day with her once agian,being loved again,being hugged again,I wouldn't hesitate for a second.I still wait for your text,your call.Everynight,I go to the reservoir.You ppl wanna know why I do that every single night?I go to the same "pondok" to just sit there and reminiscence those sweet memories of her and me.At that "pondok" we ate,laughed,chatted,played around.I really want those times back.I can't take this pain.This agony.This suffering.No matter who I am with,no matter how much I love that certain someone,NO MATTER ANYTHING,YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY NUMBER ONE IN MY HEART.

2010-02-20T10:11:00.000-08:00

Taking a break from the loud melodies.

When I was taking this pic,I was thinking of you ='(

Just came back from Fake Eyelash's Ep launch.I am soo bored so I'm going to tell you what happened from scratch.Haha.

Met farhan and thought of playing cs for a while at sk..But went there and the fucking placewas fully booked.So farhan wanted to get his haircut.So yeah.He did.Nice hairdo.For me that is.Then accompanied him to Tampines cos he wanted to buy some studs for his monroe piercings.Yeah.Went to tam.Bought that stuff.Was so hyper.Dont know why.Guess I was just trying to hide my tiredness from everybody.Went back to inter to take a bus to go back as farhan was still not dressed up for the gig.Otw..Saw Marina..YAY!..Haha...I was kinda hoping to see ya.Dont know why.Haha..Anyway..I went over and said hi.Hahha.She looked real shocked sia..But still cute..I dont know how she does that.Hahaha...Then went to farhan's and he got ready.After 20 mins of him getting ready,Went to haziq's.Otw to haziq's,found out loq was following...Ouh emm gee! I was like "Fuck la...Thanks ah..That news just spoiled my whole fucking mood!"So went to haziq's but couldn't enter for Idk what fuck.So me and farhan went to "pondok toilet".There's like 2 mats and 1 minah.Haha..Fierce sia...Nyahaha...They don't know us yet.Let time takes it course..Haha..Hung out there for a while.FOr a moment..Farhan went into the gents.Wanted to pee pee..So I truned on my mp4 to its maximum and I dont know why.I stared at this particular part of the pondok toilet.I cant forget the memories of us there.Yes it hurts and yes I cried.But I held those tears in.Farhan came and was like, "Awww...Why are you crying?". I replied , "Huh?KAROT!I was yawning la you dumbfuck!Tired ah!HAHAHA".SO proceeded back to haziq's and saw fey there..HAziq came outta there with mad..Then we proceeded to 7-11 to meet Loq. -_-".He came and we took the bus.Mad borrowed my mp4 as usual.Haziq ,fey and loq too plugged in their earpieces.So it was just me and farhan chatting.And todae,90% of what I said was in english.haha..Saaap! Hahaha. oh yeah.Back to today.Me and farhan talked about the usual stuff we would talk about.Ben 10,power rangers,pokemon,superheroes.haha.Was fun yaw!Hah.Reached the designated bus stop and had to walk to scape.Haha.Okay la...Not that near but not too far.Haha.When we reached scape,saw Fake Eyelash members.Heh.Greeted all of them.Saw a bunch of other ppl too..GOD girls was just on fire there.And and,I kept looking at this particular one.Check2 adik _ _ _ _ _.Hahah..But she's damn hot yaw.Kinda looks like chines mixed caucasian but is a malay.Shees.Reminds me of a certain bitch.But still,this girl's hotter.Haha,Oh yeah.Saw Zara.She was so cute.I could'nt keep myself away from her.haha.Too adorable.Yeah.So it was 7.30 and the gig started.It was until 10+ when the much awaited Fake eyelash performed.They were the last band.Haha.And I enjoyed every moment of the WHOLE gig.Loud music.My kinda beat.haha.Got fake eyelash's cd.Yeah.And badge.Haha.Anyways,it was about 11pm when we left scape for home.And now here I am tired like I've never felt.

To a certain cute someone: Hurry up top up!So we can go crazy!Nyahaha!

I still miss you.I still think of you.But what I read at your blog devastated me.You wanted to try something new.But trying that something new means not giving us a chance in the future.That means us will never come again.I want it to.I hope for it to be true every single day.Well.Your mind's made up.Whatever you do,whatever you may be or whatever you may have become,You will always be that certain someone that is embedded in my heart forever no matter what.

Goodnite shiny stars.Goodnite glum moon.Goodnite this hurt.Goodnite tears.Goodnite despair.

Goodnite Land dwellers. =)

REBLOGGED!

I said goodnite at 3.30am.Its now 6.ooam.I really couldn't sleep.Something's really bothering me.I know its about someone.But who?!A girl?A guy?An ex?A family member?Something that happened?Argh!I'm seriously cracking my head open.I'm trying to find the source of this uncertainty.Went down to reservoir for a while in an attempt to try and calm myself down and sort shit out.Haish.Doesnt work its wonders like it used to.No matter how much I smile,no matter how big the act is,I still know that I have things to unsettled.Deeds not done.My concious is screaming out in pain and misery that my heart is experiencing but my brain and mind is telling me to just smile.What about my soul?I have no soul.My soul has been lost to her.Without her,as I may have said,I am a zombie.I lost my soul the minute we parted ways.Wait.Maybe it is because of her.Shit!I can't put point my finger exactly cos my mind is saying this,my heart is saying that,my brain is saying these.My eyes feel so heavy yet the minute I close my eyes,I can't seem to sleep.Where the fuck am I going with all these thoughts?Why is this happening to me?What have I done to deserve this?When will this all end?How can I make it end?

Stupid things are sometimes done for the smartest of reasons.So if somebody did something stupid cos of a smart reason,is he stupid?And what if somebody did something smart cos of a stupid reason,is he smart?I don't know what to think rite now.My emotions took over me 2 hours ago.

I really really need:

Someone to hug(preferably a girl)
Food(Metallica concert going on in my stomach)
A pack of ice(Heh. ^.^)
Some peace of mind
Just one and only one wish(to have a million more wishes.If it cant be done,then I want her back.Only her)
Cigarettes
To hear you say those 3 words(Its not "Let's Get Naked")
Plasters(a whole pack)(I want the ones with cute cartoons)
One whole caton of boxes of tissues
Your love

Can these few wishes be fufilled?Can it?Is it possible?If it is,then prove it.Please?With chocolate shavings and melted marshmellows on top.Argh Damn!I had to talk about food.Now there's a Fake Eyelash EP launch all over again in my stomach with everybody moshing.Die!Hahaa...

2010-02-19T18:01:00.000-08:00

Just came back from somewhere..Damn tired..Anyways...I had fun...And and,Sorry Zam.Haha..Later I return your shirt back.After I wash it that is..haha...And thanks for sending me home..Dont worry about me...Yes something has been bothering me and no I am not gonna tell anybody about it cos I just feel that it has to be kept deep inside.Telling would do nothing..

To Zam,Jeff,Syam,Sara,Lan and Syasya,thanks for trying to cheer me up.Heh..

Now its 10.20am...Damn tired...But I cant go back to sleep cos I know if I do,I will oversleep.

Just went to haziq's to grab his jacket.I was soo damn tired.I swore I could have passed out otw to haziq's.Haish...But Haziq's one of the friends I dont wanna disappoint.So no matter how tired or sick I am,I still have to go.NO MATTER WHAT!But I'm afraid that I would pass out or something during or otw to the gig.Well..I have to suck it up.For a friend.

I miss you so much.heh.

2010-02-19T09:10:00.001-08:00

What I am doing?
Chatting with marina(webbie-ing)

Well,I'm gonna keep it short tdae...Cos I need to sleep...Need to wake up early tomorrow.Hee.Going somewhere.Haha.Shh.Then need to rush back home to haziq's to go to fake eyelash's gig at scape.Well.I think I'll make it.Heh..

2010-02-18T11:22:00.000-08:00

My crazy twin

Heh...Been chatting with marina a lot.haha.Webcammed with her..hah..She so freaking cute..aha..Yeah...Damn fun.Heh.Made faces and stuff.Haha.Now you convinced I'm more crazier than you?Told ya.Haha.Seriously..She made my boring day shine.Haha.Cos I was so bored at home.Not doing anything much.Hahaha.And I totally got to see her "geram" face...Haha..Its all in the skills.Haha..CUTE!CUTE!I kept saying that sia..Cos she really is..K wait..Marina..Dont overdo it.Hahah.dont action..Haha.And and,Dear marina..You are soo KENTAL!Hahaha..Yeah..LOOSSSEEERR!!with a capital L..A huge one..Haha...

Dearly beloved,

I don't know what I should do.I am stuck in a position where people would

be soo confused and that is what I am.Today,everybody got a taste of how foul

I could be.Even my family.Well except Marina cos luckily she was too cute.

Maybe it is because of you.Hell MAYBE.I'm seriously

not sure.What am I suppose to do?

Dear god,

I am a lost boy.Help me.Show me the way or at least what I am suppose to do.

My anger and the pain in my heart is seriously getting on other people skins.

It sure as hell ain't normal.I can't keep going on like this everyday.

Give me a relapse.Then take me back into time.I really wish it could happen.

You're god,you make things happen.So MAKE IT.

Dear kind souls,

To all those people that felt I was hard in any way which offended ya,

my apologies to you.I was just not myself.Life just isn't working for me.

And to those who asked me what happened and you noticed that I was not myself,

If I lied,sorry.Natural reaction.If I didn't wanna tell you,I'm sorry.

I've been having these bunch of irritating mood swings.God!It is as if I'm having my period.Hah.Well.I'm not sure what i'll say tomorrow but today,I have decided to stand up.Face life the way it needs to be face.Stare fear in the eyes.Laugh when the worst has come.

Guess chatting with you has made me come back,the old me.Thanks marina aka miss kentalz.Haha.

To all your glum faces,look out.I'm back to smack those frowns outta your face.The old me is back.Hee.But I'll still wear my mask just in case.Haha.

Some how I know who's gonna be tagging me about this post. -_-"

2010-02-18T05:26:00.000-08:00

Today is random day!This is how random I can get.

Butterflies are evil.Teletubbies are saitan.Fishes can walk.Birds fart a lot.Cows are aliens.Coke is blue in colour.Shoes are food.Everybody pees upwards.

2010-02-17T12:09:00.001-08:00

I really need a shoulder to cry.Someone who would just shut up and just let me cry it all out.Please?Anyone?I dont care if I dont know you.I dont care if I love you.I just need a shoulder.And a hug.Its killing me deeply.I can't hold my tears back anymore.I feel so crippled.I am stuck in the corner of the world.Please.Call me,text me.Just make me forget this pain even for a second.Please?

2010-02-17T03:06:00.000-08:00

Dearly beloved,I still miss and love you.

2010-02-16T11:09:00.000-08:00

I don't wanna make it so obvious so I have translated what I felt like posting in A LOT OF DIFFERENT LANGUAGES.

Ritengo così perso. Realmente li manco difettosi.
Je ne peux pas cesser la pensée à toi. I immobile et vous aiment toujours.
Como você disse em seu borne precedente, não importa quem você se move sobre com, 1 ou nivelam 2 guys, mim estão ainda em sua cabeça. Mesmo vai aqui.
Χάνω όλα για σας. Θα θυσίαζα τίποτα κυριολεκτικά. Οι φίλοι μου;
私はあなただけとむしろある! 食糧か。それはあなた以来の好みを残失った。お金か。
비록 나가 백만장자이었더라도, 나는 나가 당신과 가진 날 동안 다만 있는 매 센트를 무역할 것입니다.
פלסטיני בעודן כחלת שלי והג עבודה אבל לפחות אני לשכוח על הכאב במשך זמן-מה לבי.

Who is this post about?

Her.

Dear god,fufill either one of these wishes.(i'll give you some help on this one,both is in turkish)

Kızın mayın bir kez daha seviyorum.
Temizlemeden beni bu yeryüzünden.

I really can't live without her.Sometimes I wonder,why aren't I dead yet?

PS:If you found out that your blog has been tagged by someone called "crazy guy",GUILTY IS CHARGED.

AKU MENDAK!TAK TAU APE NAK BUAT!KACAU SEMOT PN JADI LA!HAIYOO!MENGAPE ORG SUME TDO BILE AKU BGN,BGN BILE AKU TDO AND ONLINE BILE AKU TAK?ENTAH LA!AGRH!MENDAK!BABI NYE SOTONG NYE CHEF NYE BOSS NYE ANAK NYE KAMBENG NYE COMPUTER NYE DOCTOR NYE POSTMAN NYE DOT.COM...

K LAME!MENDAK!

Like OMG!This is the first few words that I've posted in malay since....IDK WHEN!See?Im that bored till I post in malay.

Tuesday?Naaah.Boreday

2010-02-15T23:21:00.000-08:00

I am like so bored.Bored Bored Bored.Don't know what to do.And none of my gerek chatting friends online.Haish.Wanted to go to inter to play some lan games but HAZIQ was lazy.DUMBASS!

And and Nicky called me.Seems she is back in singapore.The start to a very irritating series.The conversation is this.

Firstly,you told me you're back in singapore and you miss me.

You wanna meet me.

You hope that things can be what it was.

You said you have changed.

You still love me.

Well...I replied.

Really?And you're telling me why?

We'll see(my way of saying NO!)

Me too(At the time when I didn't know you)

I have changed too.(I've grown 3 dicks and 2 extra nipples.As if someone can change that fast)

Me too.NOT!

Then I put down.hahaha.

REBLOGGED!

Just finish watching Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief.Cool show!I give it a 4.5 star ratiing.It really pulled my interest.haha.And the actress,Alexandra Daddario,SHE IS SO HOT!OMG!NYAM NYAM!heh..She kinda reminds me of selina gomez.An older version.but nevertheless.HOT!

2010-02-15T13:32:00.000-08:00

Now that my mp4 is already fixed,ears contantly plugged in.heh.Cant stop listening to these bands.

The Script
Fall Out Boys
Eyes Set To Kill
Alesana
Panic! At The Disco

I feel like you didnt believe me.Cos I saw your pm.I couldnt help bt feel that you were talking about me.But what if it was for the guy your moving on with.Argh.Too many questions in my head.

Do you still love me?

Do you miss me?

Do you still think about me?

Did you believed me when I said I miss you?

Many more which my too stressed mind forgot.

I read back at my old posts when I was with you.I cried.All those sweet words that I used to describe you.That shows how magical you made me feel.

You are the oasis in my dessert.
You're the t-shirt i never had.
The note missing in my song.Without you,the song is incomplete.
Your smile can bright up my darkest days.
Because of you,now,I look forward to waking up.My life now has a purpose.

These are only a FEW I care to copy paste.

Heck,I really miss you cine!I really do.

OMG!Just realised its already 6am.HAHAHA.

2010-02-15T01:23:00.000-08:00

Your guardian angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face
I can't replace
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out

How this world turns cold
And breaks through my soul
And I know, I'll find deep inside me
I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to Heaven

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay

Seasons are changing and waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you, I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to Heaven

'Cause you're my, you're my, my
My true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away

'Cause I'm here for you
Please don't walk away
And please tell me, you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know, I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to Heaven

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to Heaven

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever

I'm Yours - The script

You touch these tired eyes of mine,
And map my face out line by line
And somehow growing old feels fine..

I listen close for I'm not smart
You wrap your thoughts in works of art,
And they're hanging on the walls of my heartChorus -

I may not have the softest touch,
I may not say the words as such,
And though I may not look like much,
I'm yours.

And though my edges may be rough.
I never feel I'm quite enough,
It may not seem like very much,
But I'm yours.

Verse -

You heal these scars over time,
Embraced my soul, you loved my mind
You're the only Angel in my life

The day news came, my best friend died
My knees went weak and you saw me cry
Say I'm still the soldier in your eyesChorus -

I may not have the softest touch,
I may not say the words as such,
And though I may not look like much,
I'm yours.

And though my edges may be rough,
I never feel I'm quite enough,
It may not seem like very much,
But I'm yours.I may not have the softest touch,
I may not say the words as such,
I know I don't fit in that much.

But I'm yours.

These two songs have been sung for this girl and will only be for this girl.I miss her so dearly.But seems she's moving on.All I can do is best of luck to her.Hope she's happy.Even though deep inside,I still want her back.But if she'll be more happier without me then so be it.Like emy made me realise,guys would rather sacrifice themselves just to see the ones they love be happy.Guess i am one of those guys.heh.

5 days have past(A beginning).I still cant forget your FIRST long text to a guy ever to me.Those words made me cry.And they still do.I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU.THAT IS A PROMISE.Cos no matter how hard I try,I just can't.I...Well..Some words and feelings are better kept in the heart way deep inside than told to all.

You are the greatest Ive felt for.You are more than words could describe.Yet when you left,You are the worst I've fell from.A wound cut open that is bound to NEVER heal without you.

_ _ _ _ _ _

See?Even spelling your name,tears would flow.

2010-02-14T07:20:00.000-08:00

When I fall down,somebody comes and pick me up.The funny thing is,I'm not expecting you to.Every time I fall,a girl comes by.Its not that I'm not appreciating the helping hand.I do.But every time someone helps me,I feel so great and that is what that will most definitely lead me to another fall.I'm not tired of falling.I'm just tired that the girl helping me up isn't the girl that caused my fall.Sad.I know.Heh.And guys,yes she is pretty.But no I am not stupid.I was.I admit it.I fall in love too easily.Like what my weird twin sis put at her pm on msn, "He's locked to love"(reffering to me).This is my weakness.But I have decided to not let it be my weakness.Heh.Yeah.My apologies to Fatin and Sheila for not accepting your "invite" to vday.Maybe the both of you didn't exactly ask me out but yeah I got what the both of you were hinting.Hey..I'm a guy that read between the letters.Not the lines.Now that I think back of what the both of you said,heh,I feel so guilty.I have been declined so I know how it feels.Yeah.You must have been at home waiting by your phone expecting me to ask you out at last minute.Heh.So sorry my dears.Promise I'll make it up to you two.Hah.I sound like a playboy with two girls.Heh.I know.Seriously.I am just trying to make you two feel good about yourself cos I dont want you two to feel bad about yourself.Like I am now.Haish.Haha.But me falling again will be inevitable.Haish.Guess sacrifice is needed for happiness.

People say "Sometimes,all you have to do is wait."
People say "Things can only get better."
People say "Be patient.It will come due time."
People say this,people say that.

Personally,I think it is all bullshit.Heh.The girl I thought was my dream girl and still is,had to go not because of hate but studies.Heh.See?How unlucky can a guy get?Well.Ask me and I can list down every single thing that has happned in my life.Heh.A girl I kissed went for another...Heh.Sad sad sad me.Well.All I can do is "smile" cos frowning makes ppl look ugly.Crying is wet and screaming makes your throat coarse.So great day to all.

2010-02-13T22:04:00.000-08:00

Going out later...hehe...Yeah...On vday...Quick you might say...Nahhh...I'm going out with someone I TRULY loves and I believe who loves me back....HAHAH...And HE is not a girl.HE is gay.HE is my bestest friend FEY FEY POP!Hheh (Crazy Jesus)Well..Gonna get my pay for yestdays work at pasir ris later on.Haziq's joining us.So its me,farhan,haziq and fey.Im the only one single.DAMN YOU ALL!hahaha.Then proceeding to town to go SHOPPING!Heh! =)

2010-02-13T11:27:00.001-08:00

Just came back from work.Haha.Oober tired.Haha.When I came out from workplace,walked to bus stop to find that the last bus had left like 15 mins ago.Sad.So me and mad just took any bus which would put us closer to bedok.Haha.Took a bus.Dont know what bus.Stopped at kallang.Took a cab.Haha.Went home and here I am.

Valentine's day is here and to all those celebrating it,enjoy and to those who aren't,ENJOY.Heh.

I think you may have noticed that my old posts till idk when has been deleted.Haha.Idk why.I felt like it.Heh.

Valentine date: 2
Accepted: 0
Rejected: 0
Rejected with stupid but obvious(I dont wanna go out with you) reasons: 2
Baha.Sorry gals.I just am sick of tired of YOUR playing tricks.Yes.I said YOUR.As in the whole fucking gender of girls and guys who fuck up innocent people's emotion.You know what,thanks to YOUR kind,my heart is broken once again.A big whoopee!I feel so EXPECTED.Cos YOUR KIND is expected.Expected to suck.Expected to hurt.Expected to lie.Expected to hold.Heh.FUCK FUCK FUCK YOUR KIND.I am soo hurt that you can't even begin to describe it bloody kids,playing with other's emotions like toys.God I wish you people were on the twin tower when it crashed down.Now wait,I take that back.I wanna kill you people with my own hate,anger and pain.Am I angry?Fuck yeah.Cos I knew this was gonna happen yet why did I still push my instincts aside?Heh.Stupid me.*something happened*

Heh.Thanks W2.What you told me actually made me kinda open.Well..Now I KNOW i dont need a mask.Cos I am NOT sad anymore.I want YOU PEOPLE to see how fucking furious I am.So IF YOU ARE A GIRL AND YOU THINK YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW ME BETTER,I SUGGEST YOU TAKE ONE STEP BACK,RUN AND NEVER LOOK BEHIND.
Cos if you don't,I will notice you.And I will entertain you.But know this,I WILL NOT BE IN LOVE WITH YOU.I WILL PLAY YOUR HEARTS LIKE THE FUCKS WHO HAVE PLAYED MINE.Yeah I know that's not fair,they are innocent.Like the fuck should I care.All these while,I've been playing the good guy and only a FEW notice,so why should I keep on playing the good guy role?Bad guy role is way much cooler.Heh.And oh so easier.

Yeah I read your blog and yeah that was what triggered my anger rite here in this post.Feel bad?Wanna cry?Well..All I can say is I'm too far away to pass some tissues so dont give me a call.Better yet.I just deleted your num.Awww..Dont feel sad.Every single girl who I dont have a need to contact,their number's have been deleted.Only those who truly made a mark wasn't.

Ergh!I feel so angry.I seriously wanna scream and shout.Better yet.Kill!Only one girl I know has tasted the good and bad side of me.The TRUE me.And I still regret showing her my bad side.Well.Im sorry once again.

To all those people who like to play and toy with a person's heart,YOU ARE NO LONGER MY FRIEND.So if you aren't my friend anymore that means you are a player^^ (of people's hearts.ASS!)Haha.No matter how much I try to ridicule myself,I still feel the hurt which makes me so angry which makes me to keep on ridiculing myself so that I'd be happy.NOT WORKING!

Ps:If any of you wanna know if your number has been deleted,try texting me.If I reply then your num hasn't been deleted.

PREPAID EQUALS $0.01.AHAHHAHA

2010-02-10T00:53:00.000-08:00

Woke up.Didn't know why.Was full of anger and rage.Saw no one was home.On lappy to find out that internet was giving me fucks.Mom and sis came home.Shortly followed with lil bro.As usual,debated with lil bro.Irritating.Then went down to buy smokes.Otw.Saw a bunch of typical matreps.Kept staring at me.Was a group of 5.One was wearing ping yi shirt while another was damai.I went there and decided to make a fuss.I don't know.I just felt like punching somebody today.But they just said sorry.FUCK FUCK FUCK!Then after buying smokes.Smoked like 2 sticks continuosly.Anger is like flowing through my veins fused with the blod that travels to my head.I swear today is just my negatve day.Everything in my head rite now is negative.Everything that all YOU people have done to me that has hurt me in the past.EVERYTHING.From what my bestie did to what somebody I hate did.So today is basically the day you don't wanna mess with me cos today,if you mess with me,the one that will be messing with you ain't your friend.

Was the dream I had last night that triggered the anger in me that was kept deep down covered with smiles and friendly gestures?I remembered the dream vaguely.Was it what I did or was it what happened?Argh.This guy that is always smiles and happy laughters is not himself today.I'm fuming with anger and filled with hatred.The hate and anger buried deep in me is now surrounding me waiting for a victim to be preyed at.So...To all of you who have done any wrong to me,now is the time for you to feel guilty.Thanks to YOU PEOPLE,this guy is unleashing it on EVERYONE.

2010-02-09T10:07:00.000-08:00

Now

6 years back

Primary school days

Just a kid

See how my transformation in life?Yeah..I was sweet and innocent.I was the smart kid.I was the good kid in school.I change when I was in sec 4.Reason is just that even though I may look like I am having the time of my life.In fact I was..Till I went in school.Since kindergarten,I was bullied,basically because I think I was being nice.Too nice I think.Imagine a boy growing up,being the target of bullies,insults and sarcasm.Heh.Thats why that small little boy developed a new image,a new exterior,a new personality...A TOTALLY NEW ME..I am just sick and tired of being the victim.Now I have what I didn't have those years ago,friends,love(not sure...

Now I am in love.You told me if you are afraid of that I'll turn out to be those guys in your past.I kept questioning myself "Is it true?Am I like those guys?"Seriously,I questioned myself..Couldn't get the answer.So I asked people(girls) cos girls know about shitty guys than guys.Well...I got the same answer.No.In fact a few said that I'm the guy that's hard to find.The guy that knows how to appreciate girls.The guy that is one of a kind.So why am I not convinced?Well.Maybe I need to hear it from YOUR mouth.We'll see.

2010-02-07T01:44:00.000-08:00

Well...This weekend was the most confusing weekend I've ever had in my whole life.Seriously..

Friday-Went to Haziq's chalet.Nothing much happened that day.But sadly on that day was the same day as ..... Haish.Was kinda down that night.Couldn't sleep at all...Actually that was because of Haziq's continous farts.Haha...And Fey kept on saying "Crazy Jesus!"Hahaha....

Saturday-Went to Tampines Sports Hall with Haziq to fetch Ahyeen and Fafa.Sat at there.Waited and waited.Watched some ppl play ping pong and badminton.Then they went out of the toilet.Long sia!Haha..Girls! Pffffftt...Then Haziq and Ahyeen was like doing the eyebrows at me.Heh..Went back to chalet.At that time,there was like NO feelings for Fafa at all.But we talked and had fun.Somethings can't be blogged.Haha.Privacy.Haha.And Ahyeen helped Fey put on his FIRST make up I think.Heh.
Bro!No matter who you become,I will still love you black ass!
Seriously,when Ahyeen,You,Haziq and me were at the bedroom,by that time,IT had grown.By a bit.And seriously,I have never done what I did to you at anybody else.In a good way that is.I felt so blissful.Nyeheh.And I sooooo love the way you reacted to it.Hahaha.CUTE GILER!And when you had to go,I was like soo sad.Like I wanted to spend more time with you.
Well..Haziq,me and Fey sent Fafa and Ahyeen home.Took 5.Like WOW!So far!haha!Ahyeen and Haziq were doing their regular routine which I won't say it here..Haha..Fey stuffed his earpiece with his music on max.You were tired so you slept.Hhehe.You were so innocent.heh.

To whom it may concern:You should do whatever you think is right.I won't tell you what to do.DONT BREAK THE GUYS HEART!NOOOOOOOOO!hahahahaha...Kidding! Bluek!

Then at night.A fight occured.Well,both sides were wrong.To tell you guys the truth,I dont hate you guys.I seriously dont.I was just a microphone for my friends who can't say it out.And he's your boyfriend.So if he hates me now then so be it.Im too lazy to care.And just so you know,im not your friend anymore.Dont text me aite.You were suppose to be able to control him.Well..I just hope this bad blood has evaporated.I dont wanna fight.I hate to hurt the people I still treat as friends.Well.I understand how your bf feels.For that I am sorry.And the hurt that I have caused him,Im sorry.Well..I hope that he can still be my fren.Tell him that he has sharp knuckles.Darn!My head bled.Hahaha.And for that bruised eye,again I am sorry..I forgot that you two were already tgther.How dumb of me!Haha.

Thanx to you,songs that I had no interests in are now stuck in my head,with pictures of you.Haha.I dont want them to go away.Heh.I already miss you. =(

How should I say this?I guess you brought a big enough broom to sweep me off my feet. ;)

2010-02-04T23:54:00.001-08:00

Firstly,Sorry to haziq,ahyeen and fafa for hanging up.Stressed up.Mask just not working like it used to.Well..This is the one and only day I really need my mask.Cos Im going to ziqko's chalet later.Tonning there till sun.So no fun if they see me with a frown.Yeah..

The moment I hung up the phone.Anger filled my veins like poison.But the moment I wanted to blow up,I remembered why I was acting all hyper and happy on the phone.Her.I miss her soo much.I can't bear this piercing feeling.It is killing me slowly but surely.Haish

And to my dearest lil "sis":You didn't came to haziq's celebration when he did come for yours.Reason:You were lazy.Everybody was disappointed.Me i bet the most.Then everybody was like talking about you for a sec.I didnt say anything cos I couldn't.You were at fault.You know how painful it was to hear everybody talking about you,the lil sis I love?I hated every moment of it.Then today I hear you calling haziq at night,asking him why we didn't ask all the "others" along.Im like wtf?!Who are you to invite those who you wanna come?I myself don't want them to come but did I say anything?NO!I just replied,"its your chalet.Not mine."Yet there you were irritating haziq.You know how stressed the fuck he is?!We had everything planned out.Seriously.You just blew everything as if it was just a piece of paper in a windy storm.Argh!Now I dont know what to do.Seriously,I dont even feel like going but i don't wanna disappoint those who want me to come.UNLIKE SOMEBODY.Well...Ive said what I wanted.hope you read this.Cos this is the only way you can get the whole truth from me without seeing me blowing my top off.

I swear to god today is just not my day.Well..Something seems to be going my way.Its gonna rain.Guess Im gonna play in the rain later.Ha! Don't worry.I won't get sick.Immune to it thanks to a childhood of not listening to mom and playing in the rain.

2010-02-04T20:30:00.000-08:00

Today,I feel so down again..I reminiscence in the times we had.Its been exactly one month yet I've been wanting to tell you how much I miss you every single god damn day but I keep thinking that you might already forgotten about me.Haish.And I'm not helphing myself much.Had a dream just now.No.More of a flashback.Remember at pasir ris park?You and all your frens and those bunch of dumb MALAY matreps.Heh.We played volleyball even though I didn't know how to.Haish.Since we parted ways,every single god damn time I see a volleyball,I would be sad inside but hee! Ill be angry outside.Haish. I really miss you.

And and the fact that I woke up with a text message that broke my hopes of having fun tomorrow.Haish.Well.Guess Ill have to put on a great spectacle then.Haish.Fuck!Fuck!Fuck!
If the both of you are reading this,FUCK YOU!I know the both of you not reading this cos you don't know I have a blog.ahaha.Well.Im not that heartless..

Still miss ya braceface! =(

2010-02-04T10:46:00.000-08:00

Well...Its 2.45am..Just woke up..Idk uh waht made me woke up..Slept at 11pm just now.Haha.Yeah!I know...I felt diffirent just now.Haha.Woke up seeing text mad and farhan asking me where I was..Replied only farhan's...Well..Mad been an extra ass these few days.Haish.Dont know what wrong with him...The way he's talking to me and the way he's been reacting to the way I talk to him.Argh!Irritating much!Well..At least I got a warning earlier from kam.Haha.Thnx bro!

I miss my 2 besties.Fey and Kam...Fey not soo cos met him like a few days back,but Kam..Its been a while..He's now always busy with work and stuff.Argh!I wan those days back.When me and kam would skip school.We would have fun doing parkour stunts..Going to the poly..Telling all those stupid jokes and pranks...I dont care if I dont meet all the people I have met.Cos I met my true friend.KAMSANI BIN blablabla..haha..Like Im gonna tell you..So I cant wait for saturday...Gonna meet him..Yay!

KAM I love you bro!

To all those irritating bastards and asshole : Its brother love..Not a gay thing.But a gay would look so much cooler than you people!

2010-02-04T07:05:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow...I cant wait...The next day also I cant wait...Haha....Well...
Cant update full cos my brother sebok want to use MY lappy...ergh!

Waiting for her call but naaah..Maybe she is sleeping..Hehe...
Sweetdreams... =)